Intimacy: A tale as old as time - FML

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

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Same thing different taste

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 442

You deserved it 8 033

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Spicy

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 684

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 973

You deserved it 6 009

Not now!

By virgin - 25/11/2018 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 123

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 5 362

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 323

You deserved it 9 621

By Nightshade823 - 10/11/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 1 113

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Spicy

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 230

You deserved it 1 788

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 133

You deserved it 11 758

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 400

Next

Top comments

Emmy_m92 0

Friday 3 December 2010 19:21

Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.

hondabikez 2

Friday 3 December 2010 19:21

it normal! it happens!

Comments

SkinyJim 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:33

Well Chopper Reid always said Australia needed to "harden the f$#k up"

kobe24bryant 1

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:09

happens to the best of us. trust me dude one day u will look back and laugh

wvosuburban 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:09

ha ha ur a bono

fagatron1313 2

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:18

hahahaha that totally happened to one of my friends. He had a boner for like an hour then when they were gonna have sex he went flacid and couldn't get hard again.

omega575 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:19

haha

fss 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:26

try foreplay first

crazycrackah101 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:44

lmaoo

lilbear 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:47

hahaha good one

esebenz 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 4:07

Ha!

jon21johnson 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 4:08

were u nervous?

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I agree, your life sucks 3 966

You deserved it 340

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I agree, your life sucks 49 678

You deserved it 7 847

Today, I thought my girlfriend of two years had ghosted me. Turns out, she was deported after assuming that “this whole immigration thing will just sort itself out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 241