Intimacy: A tale as old as time

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 442

You deserved it 8 033

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 684

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 973

You deserved it 6 009

Not now!

By virgin - 25/11/2018 20:00

Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 123

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 5 362

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 323

You deserved it 9 621

By Nightshade823 - 10/11/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 1 113

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 230

You deserved it 1 788

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 133

You deserved it 11 758

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 400

Emmy_m92 0

Friday 3 December 2010 19:21

Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.

hondabikez 2

Friday 3 December 2010 19:21

it normal! it happens!

Comments

Trent_21 6

Saturday 4 December 2010 0:56

I've heard of that happening. its cause u were too nervous bro.

nerdwithagun 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 1:08

One of three things is happening here: 1) You were nervous, 2) You jerk off too much, or 3) She's ugly.

ckjacques53198 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 1:37

Its all good kid. relax.

azn4life69 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 1:59

just one word, VIAGRA!

_krispy 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 8:28

EvilPrince_fml 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:06

Just two words, Kimosabe: eat pussy

ohcanaduh 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:08

dr. canaduh prescribes viagra

mola_mola 3

Saturday 4 December 2010 13:23

you didn't even get your own name right i think you should stop prescribing stuff and go back to your institution :)

fmlisfunnyandsad 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 13:39

Dw she's Canadian lol

lumpy_space 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:13

maybe you shouldn't be two years old.

ucahamilton 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:14

happens to the best of us

Bnkr0 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:23

Gay.

mountneer 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:25

must be nice, mine won't go down.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Students Relatable Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 544

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 072

You deserved it 12 810

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 095

You deserved it 3 236

Today, I booked my holiday flights. There's 700 miles between the small country I live in and the family I'm visiting, normally one 3-hour flight. Thanks to hurricanes Irma and Maria, the only available route traverses 1700 miles and will take 26 continuous hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 423

You deserved it 317

Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 1 233

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 310

You deserved it 30 275

Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 542

You deserved it 8 691