School, Awkward and Love: Assumptions

Assumptions

By Crappyfayman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said, "Not in a million years, fat ass!" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 308

You deserved it 3 700

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 3 235

You've got mail

By guest - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 457

You deserved it 2 080

Creepy

By Fail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 3 117

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 649

You deserved it 2 923

Nice neighborhood

By Mrs. W. - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 940

You deserved it 2 497

Method acting

By hannahk267 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 611

You deserved it 4 490

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 755

You deserved it 2 532

Treat yourself

By birthday bash - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 211

You deserved it 5 240

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 877

You deserved it 2 469

Pleased to meet you

By Mr_Yato - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 919

You deserved it 1 935

Astraea 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:11

oh that sucks really. Im sorry for you you should have punched her in the face.

jayjaysmokerson 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:14

you should have told that bitch to suck it.

Comments

ThatOneAdamKid24 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:23

look at the bright side, maybe you have a shot in a million and one years

K0RRuPT 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:24

Should've said, "I wonder if you can even count till one million with that dead brain of yours.You aren't lucky enough to be asked out by me."

blaaaaakely 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:26

girls can be so cruel :(

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 14:30

Ha! #63 wins. And thank you for the permission, blake. I'm off to be cruel now and I'll refer anyone who gives me s*** to you! ;)

erjaguam 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:29

wow she really flattered herself. so did you tell her it wasn't from you?

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:29

Pocket Pikachu's would be so handy for a time like this...

lilubird 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:32

hahahahahaha! adorable. :)

popatia 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 10:09

Win :)

daaaniel 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 10:24

loool

lilubird 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:30

I just don't know about you snickerdicker *sigh*

spicayyy 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:30

how are you gonna say you're not gonna pass judgement when you just clearly did? psycho ass. you're the rude bitch here. he's not fat, just thick boned.

Emrysa 1

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:31

That's when you say: "It's not from me, I don't pork chicks with a VD, I've got standards. "

sexy_cali_girl 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:32

nd thats a super ficial bitch (sorry cant spell :P) i hate girls like that! the best guys are the usually the ones that people over look for things like acne and weight...stupid

lilubird 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:34

well I wouldn't go as far to say that. health is a huge contributing factor to attractiveness.

sexy_cali_girl 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 10:09

jus because sum1s big doesnt mean theyre unhealthy thoe

ThatOneAdamKid24 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 10:32

sometimes they're just big because of heredity. many people choose their unhealthy lifestyles and eat fattening foods and have lack of exercise, but many are also just born big and have slow metabolisms and retain a lot of the fat they eat, rather than processing it. and it's difficult for them to lose weight.