Work, Wanker and Intimacy: Call the fuzz

Call the fuzz

By MBG - 05/06/2009 07:43 - Australia

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a café and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee, she grabbed my arm and said, "I think that man is masturbating" and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 881

You deserved it 4 338

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 22:00

Today, as I was at Starbucks writing a paper, a man came and sat next to me. He started staring at me, then I noticed his hands were down his pants. It was noticeable that he was masturbating, so I went to tell a worker. They just said, "He's a regular" and didn't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 765

You deserved it 708

Creepy

By Finn - 05/07/2016 06:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 496

You deserved it 977

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 00:20 - Australia - Spearwood

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 978

You deserved it 3 554

I just want to go home

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 484

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 762

You deserved it 884

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 06:06 - United States

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 3 678

Oh, hello…

By superclutz - 07/07/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 163

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 012

You deserved it 1 639

By Anonymous - 05/04/2013 16:26 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 992

You deserved it 3 034

RyeBreadBoy 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:29

i'm pretty sure you could've thrown him out at that point.

may_cause_fail 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:30

The coffee was just that good?

Comments

JessRab 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:39

If it ever happens again, call the cops ASAP. That's disgusting, and a crime.

smalltowngirl88 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:39

Uhh, why didn't you just kick him out, or, you know CALL THE COPS. Masterbating in public is indecent exposure, therefore illegal. Did we learn NOTHING from Peewee Herman?

Darkon 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:39

Should have given him a hand maybe you could have closed up quicker. :) In seriousness that is messed up.

dfoerra 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:40

Yeah, call the police! Nobody just sits there and waits for him to finish. This smells fake.

Corn_Is_Tasty 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:40

Well, now we know what people do at coffee shops at closing time. And what did you do while you waited for him to finish?

BaldOuting 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:41

agree with #12 - I would have definitely called the cops, that is so gross. and if you think you were being polite by waiting you are wrong. you are encouraging his lewd behavior.

thebeefzoosher 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:42

FYL

whyXD 13

Friday 5 June 2009 16:43

Scary stuff. O.O

glass_doll83 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:43

so the thought of saying GET THE HELL OTU OR IM CALLING THE POLICE YOU PERV didnt cross your mind?

snavula 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:47

Damn, with all these masturbation FMLs and no one doing anything about it, makes me think that I could get away with public masturbation lol. Why don't people call the police? YDI on this one.. you must have enjoyed it, you got a warning and still did nothing!