Pregnancy, Porn and Intimacy: Cash grab - FML

Cash grab

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 05:27 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 288

You deserved it 5 058

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 05:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 924

You deserved it 8 415

The Based Family

By Amaaaaaaaaaanda - 17/02/2021 00:30

Today, my temporarily unemployed husband had a brain wave. I'm five months pregnant and we have a 4-year-old. He thinks we should start a family vlog on YouTube, so we can get rich. I hate those awful family vlogs with a passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 139

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 097

You deserved it 5 136

Busting makes me feel good

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband suggested we start making pornos online to make ends meet. I told him, “You bust so quickly, it’ll have to be a TikTok.” He’s been pouting all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 453

By sigh - 07/11/2015 05:39 - Australia - Rockdale

Spicy

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 874

You deserved it 3 258

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 312

You deserved it 696

By crazy mother in law - 17/12/2012 18:48

Spicy

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 124

You deserved it 5 027

Great plan, kiddo

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 16:00

Spicy

Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 23:59 - Canada - Halifax

Spicy

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 765

You deserved it 4 064

By Anonymous - 26/12/2013 17:27 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 661

You deserved it 5 816

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Sunday 13 January 2013 13:45

Your husband is an idiot. I mean seriously, "pregnancy ****"? What the **** is he thinking? Everyone knows its called preggo!

electrorange 13

Sunday 13 January 2013 13:38

MILF, anyone?

Comments

xeka 10

Monday 14 January 2013 0:43

Actually is not a bad idea. Does make a LOT of money if you or both of you are attractive enough. People like thatstuff.

Tuffay 14

Monday 14 January 2013 2:35

Yes you did!

Reaper1984 13

Monday 14 January 2013 4:29

well, its not the worst idea

SmosherMe 6

Monday 14 January 2013 11:39

Mmm yeah... that sexy baby-bump.

soph_volleyball 11

Tuesday 15 January 2013 23:05

That would be fun

levthebeastrawr 4

Tuesday 15 January 2013 23:23

XGtUM

Flesheatinmonkey 3

Wednesday 16 January 2013 2:15

Do it do it do it do it

akiahara 14

Wednesday 16 January 2013 23:53

Hey, hormones are rampant during pregnancy. Could be fun... lucrative, too. Bonus?

CoyoteOldOne 17

Friday 18 January 2013 6:35

Have you ever considered setting him on fire?

FirstFlight 2

Saturday 26 January 2013 19:50

There's no class like low class.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 133

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 706

The Top

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 922

You deserved it 2 207

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 512

You deserved it 3 789

Today, I either have to shit my brains out on the hour every hour like clockwork, or stop taking my medicine and go back to suffering debilitating PTSD. Regardless, I’m spending half of my day locked in a small space and unable to live freely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 118

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 019

You deserved it 44 930

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 878

You deserved it 12 060

Today, I was told by a former coworker that my former boss still talks about me being lazy, ever since the time I refused to do a few things on third shift when there was me and 2 other people working. I haven't worked there in 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 241