Poopoo peepee, Smells and Miscellaneous: My house, my rules - FML

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 693

You deserved it 2 807

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 2 697

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 1 447

By Whatthe - 18/04/2017 20:00

Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 113

You deserved it 369

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 520

You deserved it 4 962

Batshit soup

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 12:00 - United States - St. Petersburg

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 102

Aromatherapee

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 17:00

Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 687

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 123

By unicornlovet - 14/08/2019 18:00

Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 122

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 284

You deserved it 2 084

Next

Top comments

bacincheeseburge 9

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:47

In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.

islander03 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:53

That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......

Comments

MrLoux 6

Friday 17 February 2012 1:34

My one flatmate does the same. One of the reasons I'm glad I'm moving...

VannaLa 7

Friday 17 February 2012 2:49

Leave tampons in the yellow, see what he thinks about that.

random1368 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 8:01

Meet the Focker's strikes again.

lea3829 7

Saturday 18 February 2012 19:57

eww lol

mojjo21 4

Monday 20 February 2012 2:01

Lol that's our camper rule so we can save water and sewage room!

Cathrin 26

Friday 13 April 2012 23:44

I'll admit to being a skeptic. We have a similar rule but we flush it once we start to smell it from sitting down on it, which takes quite a while, and it rarely does so before either mom or I go number two. If it "mellows" enough to stink up your whole house, you might want to go to the doctor about why you're not going number two for so long.

EverdreamOfMe 24

Wednesday 3 July 2013 3:29

This. We have the same rule, yet our house doesn't sink. Probably because we close the toilet lid and aren't constipated like 99% of people, so the toilet gets flushed before it starts to stink. Who cares if some people think it's gross? It helps the environment and that to me is more important then avoiding disgusting some people. People should at least try it before assuming it's going to stink their house, if it does cause odors then just start flushing it again.

JessicaSki 12

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:33

It's a good rule to live by, and it's very unlikely that your house will smell bad before you flush it. I agree with #190

merrielp 13

Friday 8 June 2012 10:02

That's the rule in my house. Why waste water? Why be ashamed of dropping a deuce? Everyone does it.

Peacelove0404 26

Thursday 4 October 2012 2:34

Omg my dad said the EXACT same thing!

Gurman 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:43

honey boo boo..

7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Animals Cats Gross Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 12

Today, after talking to a guy for a month, he finally came over and I totally thought sex with him was going to be amazing. Unfortunately, I did all the work and I didn’t even cum, but he did, then he had the nerves to ask me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 400

The Top

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 020

You deserved it 3 679

Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 850

You deserved it 2 220

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 137

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 718

You deserved it 12 916

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 094

You deserved it 5 790

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 257

You deserved it 401