Poopoo peepee, Smells and Miscellaneous: My house, my rules - FML

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 889

You deserved it 2 847

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 699

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 520

You deserved it 1 447

By Whatthe - 18/04/2017 20:00

Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 114

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 522

You deserved it 4 962

Batshit soup

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 12:00 - United States - St. Petersburg

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 103

Aromatherapee

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 17:00

Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 696

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 123

By unicornlovet - 14/08/2019 18:00

Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 122

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 285

You deserved it 2 084

Next

Top comments

bacincheeseburge 9

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:47

In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.

islander03 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:53

That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......

Comments

MrLoux 6

Friday 17 February 2012 1:34

My one flatmate does the same. One of the reasons I'm glad I'm moving...

VannaLa 7

Friday 17 February 2012 2:49

Leave tampons in the yellow, see what he thinks about that.

random1368 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 8:01

Meet the Focker's strikes again.

lea3829 7

Saturday 18 February 2012 19:57

eww lol

mojjo21 4

Monday 20 February 2012 2:01

Lol that's our camper rule so we can save water and sewage room!

Cathrin 26

Friday 13 April 2012 23:44

I'll admit to being a skeptic. We have a similar rule but we flush it once we start to smell it from sitting down on it, which takes quite a while, and it rarely does so before either mom or I go number two. If it "mellows" enough to stink up your whole house, you might want to go to the doctor about why you're not going number two for so long.

EverdreamOfMe 24

Wednesday 3 July 2013 3:29

This. We have the same rule, yet our house doesn't sink. Probably because we close the toilet lid and aren't constipated like 99% of people, so the toilet gets flushed before it starts to stink. Who cares if some people think it's gross? It helps the environment and that to me is more important then avoiding disgusting some people. People should at least try it before assuming it's going to stink their house, if it does cause odors then just start flushing it again.

JessicaSki 12

Thursday 3 May 2012 22:33

It's a good rule to live by, and it's very unlikely that your house will smell bad before you flush it. I agree with #190

merrielp 13

Friday 8 June 2012 10:02

That's the rule in my house. Why waste water? Why be ashamed of dropping a deuce? Everyone does it.

Peacelove0404 26

Thursday 4 October 2012 2:34

Omg my dad said the EXACT same thing!

Gurman 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:43

honey boo boo..

7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Health Gross Poopoo peepee Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Christmas Work Video games Holidays Gamers Embarrassing Love Public freakouts AITA Gifts Am I overreacting? Racism Miscellaneous Toxic Family Drunk Friends Coworkers Furniture Sex Intimacy Parents Relatable Lonely Money

The Top

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 793

You deserved it 3 231

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 181

The Top

Today, my wife and I watch the Chargers play the Packers. Philip Rivers is the Chargers quarterback. Out of the blue, my wife says "Philip is a stupid name." My middle name is Philip. We have been married 32 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 312

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 529

You deserved it 1 875

Today, my mom walked in on me crying in my room and yelled at me for being a "weak little crybaby." I’d just found out my best friend died in a car accident. When I told my mom that, she said, "Does it look like I fucking care?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 667

You deserved it 144

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 370

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 951

You deserved it 32 029

Today, after my parent's forgot my 16th birthday, then rescheduled for two weeks later and forgot, fast forward to my 36th. My father, my husband, and my teen kids all forgot. I was told to relax and that they would make a cake, etc. No cake was made. Mom got me a food gift that I'm allergic to. It's been a few days. Forgotten again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 128