Poopoo peepee, Smells and Miscellaneous: My house, my rules - FML

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 889

You deserved it 2 847

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Same thing different taste

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 699

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 520

You deserved it 1 447

By Whatthe - 18/04/2017 20:00

Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 114

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 522

You deserved it 4 962

Batshit soup

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 12:00 - United States - St. Petersburg

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 103

Aromatherapee

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 17:00

Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 696

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 123

By unicornlovet - 14/08/2019 18:00

Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 122

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 285

You deserved it 2 084

Next

Top comments

bacincheeseburge 9

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:47

In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.

islander03 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:53

That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......

Comments

conholio33 28

Thursday 16 February 2012 3:12

I say flush the toilet i would be grossed out if that rule was in my house..... It grosses me out when i go to use a public toilet (if i have to) and i see thats its not flushed

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 16 February 2012 3:25

What the **** is wrong with your father?

hateevryone 14

Thursday 16 February 2012 4:37

don't follow that stupid rule.

TheNinjaBacon 8

Thursday 16 February 2012 5:27

Uck that would be the worst smelling air freshener ever

Anchavez2 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 7:09

Thats from meet the fockers

jellybeans1 3

Thursday 16 February 2012 10:19

and its not a meet the fockers saying... seriously.. iv known that my whole life and so have my childhood friends

shaleen0909 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 14:39

113-'It never smelled like pee...?' OMG you better chech if you are peeing only and not anything else.....haha something still undiscovered what you pee...lol

rreyes79 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 15:13

This is what you get for havng liberal parents.

mistaj1990 5

Thursday 16 February 2012 20:04

Okay, but what if it is green?

jfatula01 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 23:17

Mom said same to me ha

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 284

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 478

You deserved it 13 091

The Top

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 739

You deserved it 8 425

Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 408

Today, I'm at my in-laws for breakfast. I used the restroom to do a number 2 but the water flow isn't going. It's not clogged, but the water is not fully leaving, and my boyfriend's phone is dead. I'm helpless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 183

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 893

You deserved it 20 214

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 795

You deserved it 60 004

Today, and for years, we keep getting offers for ultra high speed internet from the new fibre optic cables they put in. Whenever we ask the provider whether these cables are actually physically available at our address, they tell us they don’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 107