Poopoo peepee, Smells and Miscellaneous: My house, my rules - FML

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 693

You deserved it 2 807

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Same thing different taste

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 2 697

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 1 447

By Whatthe - 18/04/2017 20:00

Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 113

You deserved it 369

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 520

You deserved it 4 962

Batshit soup

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 12:00 - United States - St. Petersburg

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 102

Aromatherapee

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 17:00

Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 687

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 123

By unicornlovet - 14/08/2019 18:00

Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 122

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 284

You deserved it 2 084

Next

Top comments

bacincheeseburge 9

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:47

In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.

islander03 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:53

That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......

Comments

conholio33 28

Thursday 16 February 2012 3:12

I say flush the toilet i would be grossed out if that rule was in my house..... It grosses me out when i go to use a public toilet (if i have to) and i see thats its not flushed

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 16 February 2012 3:25

What the **** is wrong with your father?

hateevryone 14

Thursday 16 February 2012 4:37

don't follow that stupid rule.

TheNinjaBacon 8

Thursday 16 February 2012 5:27

Uck that would be the worst smelling air freshener ever

Anchavez2 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 7:09

Thats from meet the fockers

jellybeans1 3

Thursday 16 February 2012 10:19

and its not a meet the fockers saying... seriously.. iv known that my whole life and so have my childhood friends

shaleen0909 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 14:39

113-'It never smelled like pee...?' OMG you better chech if you are peeing only and not anything else.....haha something still undiscovered what you pee...lol

rreyes79 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 15:13

This is what you get for havng liberal parents.

mistaj1990 5

Thursday 16 February 2012 20:04

Okay, but what if it is green?

jfatula01 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 23:17

Mom said same to me ha

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Keywords

Animals Cats Gross Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, I accompanied my dad to the airport for him to say goodbye forever to his childhood best friend. After their "dude goodbyes", right as they turned away, they started to whimper, did a sad squee-like sound, faced each other, then hugged and cried like kids. I have no idea if I should laugh, be sad, or get embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 502

The Top

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 975

You deserved it 37 006

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 2 221

Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight to leave for Hawaii when I received an urgent call from my neighbour saying that my house had been broken into. After rushing home and missing my flight, I had to explain to the police that my house wasn't burgled, it was just very messy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 729

You deserved it 5 928

Today, I got fired for not being mature enough. I just found out I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 406

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 468

You deserved it 3 267

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 215

You deserved it 2 899