Embarrassing, Surgery and Health: Padded out

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 895

You deserved it 6 483

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Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 126

You deserved it 1 977

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 521

You deserved it 2 359

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 193

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 191

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 045

You deserved it 2 810

Silver linings

By Butt Hurt - 10/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 70

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 165

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 97

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 763

You deserved it 4 686

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 154

You deserved it 42 325

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

Comments

jujujuice 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:09

#18, lmao. cyst juices. hahahah.

justmyluckx3 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:13

That's a bummer.. haha.

melissa_10 7

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:14

omg..thats sucks!! poor you.. =(

Chibi_fml 9

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:15

Oh, get over yourself. I agree with #37 and #68. At least the only ramaification was having to TEMPORARILY wear a maxi pad. It could be a hell of a lot worse. This isn't an FML or a YDI. It'd be no worse than if a girl had to wear it.

angeldo6695 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:22

well, at least you get to experience something most guy never would, write it on your resume

BaldOuting 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:25

no one has to know - unless someone you know figured out this is you.

Newtons_Cradle 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:27

hahaha, well now you know how we (girls) feel!! still, sucks for you. sounds really unpleasant. >.

Newtons_Cradle 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:29

look on the bright side..... at least you don't need a tampon

soaperguy29 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:30

This exact thing happened to me just recently. At first I wore the maxi pads, but I had to get the surgery to completely remove it after it was drained and I actually had to carry around a pouch that was connected to my butt by a tube to collect the fluids. Definitely FYL. Also its called a Pilonidal Cyst.