Intimacy: Relax

Relax

By Anonymoosey - 19/02/2012 23:47 - Canada

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 5 328

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Same thing different taste

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

By Rhett_15 - 01/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 948

Most good songs are

By Cicie - 27/01/2017 03:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 660

You deserved it 1 922

By nilssonfan - 17/11/2010 08:08 - United States

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 5 961

Spotified

By aarong - 10/02/2014 06:42 - United States - Tampa

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 8 000

Sing it again

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 80

By Microtron - 03/03/2015 00:48 - United States - Oxford

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 216

You deserved it 13 447

Right Said Fred

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 22:02

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 2 031

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 6 669

By tkr - 06/02/2012 03:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 938

You deserved it 39 964

Not fair at all

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 346

You deserved it 61 861

KaelaKhaotic 5

Monday 20 February 2012 3:34

What song was it?

bustub2 8

Monday 20 February 2012 3:41

"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.

Comments

chacegrr 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:01

Kind of like when you grow up listening to the red hot chili peppers, and read their lyrics years after the fact..

xxCandyKissxx 1

Tuesday 21 February 2012 0:36

Yes, hehe my parents listened to this weird rock/hippy band like the red hot chilli peppers xD

attatood 8

Monday 20 February 2012 5:10

Relax might be about delaying ******, but I don't recall anything about anal sex in it...

2oc 5

Monday 20 February 2012 5:12

Happened to me too. "good girls don't" by The Knack is a very sexual song if you listen to the lyrics.

Ilovescotty1 1

Monday 20 February 2012 5:15

Is it I'm a barbie girl?

lolxlolx3 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:18

Lmfaoo, imagine a kid singing that song while walking down the street.

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 20 February 2012 5:30

Oh, right in the childhood

rattusrattus 18

Monday 20 February 2012 5:31

We all had that moment at least once: mine was to "House of Fun" by Madness. To be fair, that one is full of euphenisms. Part of growing up, I think.

xxCandyKissxx 1

Monday 20 February 2012 5:32

Mine use to be a song about two girls planning to kill their abusive husband :D hehe

steven1995 5

Monday 20 February 2012 5:34

Good bye earl

xxCandyKissxx 1

Tuesday 21 February 2012 0:27

Yes!! Haha and every time we would go to karaoke me and my little sister would sing I xD

BarakatsBurrito 7

Friday 22 June 2012 0:23

Haha mine too! Id sing that and landslide, when I was like 4. People would think I was really ****** up

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 20 February 2012 5:39

These anecdotes never seize to amaze...

divadevon 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:55

Or cease

divadevon 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:56

Or cease

matt_mcg 2

Monday 20 February 2012 5:42

I don't see why you are so shocked

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The Top

Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 128

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 024

You deserved it 4 875

The Top

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 627

You deserved it 8 391

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 379

You deserved it 29 666

Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 3 258

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''Prudish'' to name a few. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 252

You deserved it 2 994

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 125

Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 933

You deserved it 304

Relax

Same thing different taste

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

Most good songs are

Spotified

Sing it again

Right Said Fred

Not fair at all

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