Intimacy: Relax - FML

Relax

By Anonymoosey - 19/02/2012 23:47 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 5 328

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

By Rhett_15 - 01/08/2017 13:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 948

Most good songs are

By Cicie - 27/01/2017 03:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 660

You deserved it 1 922

By nilssonfan - 17/11/2010 08:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 5 961

Spotified

By aarong - 10/02/2014 06:42 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 8 000

Sing it again

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 80

By Microtron - 03/03/2015 00:48 - United States - Oxford

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 216

You deserved it 13 447

Right Said Fred

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 22:02

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 2 031

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 6 669

By tkr - 06/02/2012 03:14 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 938

You deserved it 39 964

Not fair at all

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:52 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 346

You deserved it 61 861

Next

Top comments

KaelaKhaotic 5

Monday 20 February 2012 3:34

What song was it?

bustub2 8

Monday 20 February 2012 3:41

"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.

Comments

cykedelic 1

Monday 20 February 2012 5:43

Haha! When I was 10 I loved Boyz to Men's "I'll make love to you" and would belt it out. I had no idea what making love referred to but equally enjoyed Salt 'n' Peppa's "Let's talk about sex."

krobbs14 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:50

Meatloaf

xxCandyKissxx 1

Tuesday 21 February 2012 2:05

Rocky horror picture show!!!!

cooLING 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:54

'Hurt So Good' by John Mellancamp?

cdjock42 0

Monday 20 February 2012 5:59

I'm guessing it's the song "don't hold back"

JennaMarie420 2

Monday 20 February 2012 6:14

Is it Frankie's relax don't do it?

guardianangel68 1

Monday 20 February 2012 6:28

Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of..) by Lou Bega. Didn't ruin my childhood, just made me laugh

TiZZLE1 0

Monday 20 February 2012 6:29

Well whats the song?

mariejinx 1

Monday 20 February 2012 6:29

i bet the song is Relax... and by the looks of it, i'm not the only one Who thinks so...

TrancyPants 0

Monday 20 February 2012 6:32

Well that sucks butt.

kp4294 2

Monday 20 February 2012 6:34

Was it educational for you?

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Keywords

Health Kids Students Work Alcohol Miscellaneous Fight Parents Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Parenting Weird Awkward Poopoo peepee Love Sex I need your advice Relatable Art Family Animals Cats Money Skincare Neighbours Cops Party Crush Furniture

The Top

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 2 865

Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 3 357

The Top

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. I presented her with an oil painting of her that I'd been working on for over a month, and she started to cry. I thought it was because she liked it, until she asked if she really looks that ugly and disproportionate in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 996

You deserved it 3 874

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 724

Today, some jackass decided that using the back of my car to slow down was easier than using his brakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 917

You deserved it 1 357

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 726

You deserved it 4 191

Today, my girlfriend said I make too many demands of her, and that I'm being unreasonable, I’m sorry but when dating surely it’s reasonable to expect conversation, intimacy, date nights, sex on occasion. Basically, if it’s not sitting on TikTok or Instagram, anything I want she says is “unreasonable.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 166

Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 619