Intimacy: Rewarding - FML

Rewarding

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 512

You deserved it 17 516

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Top comments

Codezlol 21

Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:59

Tell her that the lady down the street will do it for 100 so she had better rethink her bargain.

maa_rico 4

Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:33

But wait, by the wife doing that isn't she punishing herself also? if not sex for him then not sex for her, unless..........

Comments

oped01 8

Monday 4 April 2011 9:24

**** her... no I mean really **** her

Souperflip 2

Tuesday 5 April 2011 3:24

You, sir, are ****** for life.

Wishfullthinking_fml 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 7:46

Ha it should be 2300 points if she asks you to do anything at all, even if that means turning off a light.

Scoutman 5

Friday 8 April 2011 15:44

Doing the dishes - 10 points Doing the laundry - 20 points Screwing the brains out of the intern at lunch - Priceless

Black_Magic87 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 22:37

Just beat ur meat zero points needed

jadejazmyn 5

Saturday 30 April 2011 1:32

1. marriage is nothing but legalized prostitution 2. if i were a msn id b getting a new wife. 3. i think yours is sexing someone else. 4. ida slapped her asss in the face for that and i dont condone domestic violence. 5. go have sex w a nice hotcwoman, seriously because your wifes being a DYCK!

jadejazmyn 5

Saturday 30 April 2011 1:34

im w u divorce her asss

jadejazmyn 5

Saturday 30 April 2011 1:44

love juggnificents comment. lol so funny and true

jadejazmyn 5

Saturday 30 April 2011 1:47

his wife is not smart shes a dumb ass and needs therapy. and you wo.en wonder why your men cheat though they claim to love you. youre just stupid w a serious lack of. communication skills and do not know shit about men and relationships. lol get a clue. this huzzy is cheating on him trust me she is under a new dyck lol

Crystalosophy 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 8:10

She gives the impression that the sex is only enjoyable for you... does she not enjoy the sex?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Christmas Cute Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Hair Friends Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Cops Sex Intimacy Neighbours Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

The Top

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 3 438

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in and saying, "That's an expensive bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 10 595

The Top

Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 554

You deserved it 3 433

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 979

You deserved it 4 358

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 361

You deserved it 4 228

Today, I booked a restaurant and nice hotel for date night. We only get a few hours away from our baby, so we may as well squeeze in sexy time! I told my husband and he was more worried about the awkward early check out than excited for the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 246

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 098

You deserved it 3 781

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 939

You deserved it 24 639