Health, Embarrassing and Injury: Rock on!

Rock on!

By wtf - 08/03/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 841

You deserved it 24 513

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By SteveBassist - 27/03/2018 15:00

Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 932

You deserved it 304

Rain check?

By Egtat216 - 29/07/2016 22:03 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 410

You deserved it 1 476

By failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 59 057

Healthy lifestyle choice

By Rowaelin16 - 23/09/2016 03:31 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 825

You deserved it 1 610

Wardrobe malfunction

By Unknown - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight the shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow, and I tugged so hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 792

You deserved it 37 386

By alycion - 17/06/2019 19:07

Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 133

Lumpy

By popeye - 25/02/2010 15:18 - United States

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 105

You deserved it 5 359

By mildlyconcussed - 10/08/2015 08:32 - Italy - Somma Vesuviana

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 662

You deserved it 1 906

It's not a phase, mom!

By Anonymous - 24/12/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 874

You deserved it 7 268

By JimiHendrix - 01/03/2013 01:55 - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 7 362

OnlyOnFML 0

Thursday 8 March 2012 15:57

The tough life of a guitar hero...

causticgirl 6

Thursday 8 March 2012 15:57

Yeah, I'd come up with a better story for that black eye. Make it a good one. Maybe something involving a mugging with 2 attackers.

Comments

Michael_92 20

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:34

You got in a fight with bigfoot. You got out alive, he didn't.

lilpowers 3

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:44

My cat is a secret ninja!

loserman67 35

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:47

The 1990's called, they want their air guitar back....

missathegirlwond 19

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:48

Say that you were in a bar fight, and that they should see the other guy.

muffinXmonster 12

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:51

You are officially the most talented air guitarist ever

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:51

Next time tune that thing.

breannasmiles 0

Thursday 8 March 2012 16:52

I've done that before...

nattynatters 14

Thursday 8 March 2012 17:03

Just weave an epic tale of bad-assery. Chicks dig bad asses.

BunBunBabe 8

Thursday 8 March 2012 17:11

Yeah lie and say it was something bad ass

kimgr 9

Thursday 8 March 2012 17:24

Don't worry, it pretty much happened to everyone

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 6 732

Today, at 17 years-old my doctor told me my balls are riddled with multiple small cancerous tumours. They are now useless for sperm production and will have to be removed anyway to cure the cancer, but not to worry, for aesthetic reasons they can replace them with silicone balls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 190

You deserved it 122

Today, I'm stuck in a dead-end job with no future but can't quit as I have bills to pay. My manager is the most incompetent person I've ever worked for, and he has hired a bunch of his friends who are incompetent as fuck. The CEO doesn't seem to care as he just focuses on business and money. no one cares, and mediocracy is rewarded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 131

Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 979

You deserved it 2 191

Today, I helped a stranger exchange 3,000 Argentinian pesos for US dollars through my bank. They gave him $3,000. The exchange rate is close to $195. My bank realized their mistake and now my bank account is -$2,805 expecting me to pay it back. All this happened before my recent paycheck came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 123

You deserved it 1 889

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 348

You deserved it 33 376