Love: Shy boy

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 6 825

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 10 405

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 135

You deserved it 72 633

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 485

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 22:33 - United States - Washington Crossing

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 807

You deserved it 7 449

The kindness of strangers

By Samprib - 01/06/2013 05:09 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was, "God forbid a maxed-out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 715

You deserved it 21 069

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 776

You deserved it 4 109

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 3 890

Tarak_fml 7

Saturday 24 October 2009 20:12

Just explain. Not that big a deal

dsrs3777 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:14

Everyone saying YDI for not using condoms is a moron. Obviously you use condoms when having sex with someone if you're not sure it would be safe, but with your fiance? if she's on the pill no point, pill is way more effective than condoms as a contraceptive, and you had better know by then whether or not your partner has diseased. So what I'm trying to say is stupid people who don't understand sex STFU

Comments

rosierosierosie 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 20:44

GO MANCHESTER!!! sorry. But yeah just explain, duh.

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:00

boo manchester sux! long live real madrid

blackonblight 32

Monday 26 October 2009 0:34

"But demons like Ligur and Hastur wouldn't understand. They'd never have thought up Welsh-language television, for example. Or valueadded tax. Or Manchester. He'd been particularly pleased with Manchester." Yeah, Crowley would be right with you on that remark.

__no_one__ 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:34

You're awesome.

WorkThatButt 2

Saturday 24 October 2009 20:56

Tell her its for your friend, if she doesn't believe you...UMMMMMMM...DUMP HER???

sbcpunkrocker 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:01

It's your fault for queuing at the till, you should've lined up at the register.

polico_wolf 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:49

WIN

Lonely_Lez 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 22:43

You make me want to hit things. Very, very hard.

Conkers 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 12:13

No, FAIL.

fakepolice 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:02

baaaaahhhhh haaaa hahahahaha

AndelleRae 9

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:07

I fail to see the FML here. Unless she didn't believe you after you explained and dumped you, in which case your marriage was never going to work out anyway.

nofxtime 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:07

No good deed goes unpunished.

rockonCB4 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:09

YDI for not using condoms..

wallythedolly 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:09

Use protection, you twat.

aahas7 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:11

This isn't a FML. If ya'll are engaged wouldn't she know your friends? Then both of you could explain to her.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 24 October 2009 21:12

"Oh, erm, hey, uh, honey...I...I was just, uh, buying these for...for a friend. Yeah, a friend! That's it!" Tell her you decided to get them because she's been complaining that you finish too quickly, and you needed something to deaden some of the sensation. But now I suppose that her death-glare took care of that problem for you!