Sex, Teenagers and Intimacy: Smash the Patriarchy

Smash the Patriarchy

By Alfie4 - 05/03/2012 22:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horseshit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 078

You deserved it 10 773

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Same thing different taste

The struggle

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son came to complain that all he and his girlfriend do is have sex, yet never talk to each other. As his dad, I tried to give him good advice, but as his mom makes me miserable every time she opens her mouth, it was a struggle to think what to say. In fact, he’s living my idea of paradise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 183

Armchair psychologist

By Mom - 27/11/2023 07:30

Today, I spent yet another lunch venting to my best friend about how much I hate my teenage son's girlfriend, thinking he should be with someone less outspoken. Apparently she got tired of listening because she eventually snapped, "Oh for god's sake, just admit you want to fuck your son already!" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 195

Protips from Dad

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 15:00

Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 1 252

By wish.was.single - 25/01/2012 18:33 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 5 684

Young love

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 17:02

Today, I walked in on my son having sex with his girlfriend. An hour later, I did it again and got quite annoyed, and yelled at them for having sex again. He said, "What do you mean again? We haven’t finished yet." My son has been having sex for over an hour. Man, do I feel inadequate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 2 004

Motormouth

By Anonymous - 17/08/2020 17:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 23:33 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 145

You deserved it 6 039

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 1 461

The Manosphere is like the Metaverse for morons

By get the fuck out! - 04/07/2023 22:00

Today, I overheard my husband’s disgusting misogynist brother saying that I shouldn’t be allowed to discipline my son, because “it’ll turn him into one of those pussy ass soyboy simps that listens to bitches.” My husband didn’t even back me when I told the douche to leave our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 226

Get out of there!

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Durham

Today, after I can't count how many times, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to break MORE things in our home, because I asked him not to let our son speak to me rudely. His response, "He said 'OK' so you should have shut up." Basically, he's raising my kid to treat me like he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 613

lthoyal 8

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:11

I sense a castration for your son in the near future.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:16

Time to train that child! Be a parent and teach them to respect women... It any romantic partner regardless of gender for that matter

Comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:39

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this yet, but all teenage boys "need" sex constantly. At least, that's the way it feels at the time. This is why teenage boys ********** constantly. It would have been perfectly appropriate for you to TELL HIM that it's normal to feel that he needs constant sex, but also that it's NOT ok to expect his girlfriend to constantly oblige. Doesn't anyone talk to their children anymore?

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:30

Speaking from the children's perspective - it can be exceedingly difficult to approach a parent about a sensitive subject such as this. Sometimes parents will look unfavorably on decisions the children wish to make; we don't know how the parents will react all the time. Not to mention the inherent awkwardness.

AloysiusWeasley 15

Saturday 10 March 2012 5:23

This, so much this. Guys allowed to get away with thinking they "need" sex constantly and women are obliged to give it to them need to be put down.

chrisf_fml 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:40

You must be white no black child would be alive

benhemon 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:42

Heaven forfend you actually engage your own child in a meaningful conversation, or help him better understand his girlfriend's position. No, much better to stare off into space and avoid doing anything at all. The right response when someone you're responsible for raising says something you disagree with is to sulk. Parent of the year material right there.

kashir 5

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:45

Your son sounds like a little turd who needs to learn respect for his lady friend

wrwrestler9 5

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:54

Why are you calling it "misogynistic"? You're a guy. You ever hear of women complaining about other women being "anti-men"? NO, THEY STICK TOGETHER. So grab your sack and do the same. The reason men are losing power in America is bcuz guys are becoming ******* who are so desperate to get laid (or so desperate for whatever they "stand for") that they sh*t on other fellow men in the process. Men = don't stick together Women = stick together That's why women have all the power these days. I'm not saying who deserves power more, cuz honestly both sexes deserve equal power. Haha all I'm saying is, hey, if the women are going to grab for power, men maybe ought to do the same. Or else we'll wake up one day and be women's bitches. Oh, wait- most of today's men already are. Even the "alpha male player" guys routinely dick out other men, to get girls. That's not attractive and the only reason women support that behavior is because it gives them more power. Men who try to bring down other men to get laid, are TRAITORS just saying.

Llamacod 11

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:00

Men who try to bring down other men to get laid are traitors just saying what? What are the traitors just saying? I'm curious to know.

ssnowywinter 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:03

This is probably one of the stupidest comments I have seen on this site. And I've been reading these FMLs for a while.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:34

All I read was ”BLAH BLAH BLAH MEN FAIL BLAH BLAH BLAH WOMEN ARE GETTING MORE POWER BLABITY BLAH BLAH SHIT BLAH BLAH I STUPID GUY PLEAZ FLAME ME BLAH BLAH I'M ON WELFARE”. This guy wins the dumbest FML comment of 2011.

Sidel 11

Tuesday 6 March 2012 16:06

So by bringing down other men you get laid?

PenguinSwag47 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:25

I didn't know it was still 2011 in Moscow.

WordSmyth 2

Wednesday 7 March 2012 21:11

Dude, I scrolled all the way down this anaconda of a comment, with anticipation growing in my stomach, just to see the amount of thumbs down it had. Well done, I was throughly satisfied, and had a good laugh at that.