Alcohol, Drunk and Miscellaneous: Sounds neat

Sounds neat

By danii - 05/10/2011 03:28 - Reserved

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 119

You deserved it 65 063

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Same thing different taste

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 027

You deserved it 46 458

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 897

You deserved it 40 595

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 42 548

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 2 777

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 302

You deserved it 4 524

Check this out

By Anonymous - 30/09/2018 12:00

Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 2 729

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 264

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 2 766

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 10 269

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 994

You deserved it 24 005

razzberry 9

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:38

I mean.....honestly you have control here.

RakaI 8

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:38

You allowed it to yourself.

Comments

baconboy_42 8

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:42

Aren't you the same person who had friends over to Patty and when you woke up you were naked, covered on permanent marker and your parents' house was trashed? Was that you, too?? AA, honey. Check in to it.

Kokara1352 2

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:50

You have no one to blame but yourself

hannahcorrine 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:15

jdblovrr 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:33

Drug....? Ydi

jpallan 3

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:36

I have to say that your life sounds like a 1980s PSA.

TripAcal_fml 1

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:58

you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you.

shotgun479 4

Wednesday 5 October 2011 22:06

Aint nothin wrong with bein white trash

bammeh 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 22:21

Its funny when people try to "help" the posters. Lol they post about it because it's funny. Not because they want to be told to quit drinking and smoking.