Suave

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 878
You deserved it 47 854

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Is that how you define "making a move"? By asking about holiday preferance? That right there is a fail. And for the record, it's damn creepy when people batt their eyes; damn creepy.

wow. i dont know about you guys, but when i'm trying to score with a guy i ask him about his favourite holiday. they all think its so hot. xD

Comments

Why the **** would you ask him which was his favorite holiday?! You clearly need to brush up on your flirty skills. YDI

irishlassie731 0

Your idea of making a move is asking his favorite holiday? Wow.

itsnotmuch 0

Agree with #39. If that's how you flirt, YDI.

CONNIE1390 0

daayyuumm #55 you wrote like a book on here! but now i think the girl n rest the FML ppl are set for life on how to pick up a guy or know when a guys interested... but shit for real you asked whats his fav holiday wow YDI with the lettuce in your teeth lol

likeduhhx4 0

why would you ask that kind of question ? yeah i always check my teeth for food, maybe you need to do the same.

deaditegirl 0

YDI. How the hell is that "making a move"? Wow, you suck.

Next time try something like: 'If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?' As much as that sucks, anything is better than a holiday preference.. SORRY YDI ;)

DarkMirror 0

I love #90 just for having "Jesus" and "cockblocker" in the same sentence. That made my day. xD

FMLwrestler 0

#92 unwad your panties. First of all, I was talking about "not bringing up religion IN DATING". 2), I had to put that in there, because I'm Christian and otherwise it makes me look like I hate religion and Christianity especially, which I don't. 3) You said Jesus wasn't a prophet? Yet the definition of prophet is "A person gifted with profound moral insight and exceptional powers of expression." Statistically, Jesus provided a lot of new insights that were so simple, and yet so unheard of in his time. Saying that he did not have profound moral insights or exceptional powers OF EXPRESSION is simply ridiculous! Answer me this: If he didn't have good speaking ability (aka powers of expression), then how in the hell are people 2000 years later still praying to him as the Son of God? If he's NOT the son of God, he is one HELL of an orator, and one HELL of a prophet! IDC what your religion "classifies" him as. He may not be the son of God, but he IS a prophet. And anybody who says he doesn't fit the definition of a prophet needs their head examined twice over. He is undoubtedly the most talked about man of ALL TIME. Bar none. How does that make you feel about him now? 4) #92, I'm not saying you should like him. Nor can I expect you to like him- cuz 2BH, it was you guys along with the Romans, who had him killed! But you SHOULD RESPECT HIM. He was willing to die for your sins! Even if he was misguided and didn't benefit you, he TRIED giving his life for you. And everybody will admit that willingly dying for others is a good thing! No lie, even most of the Jewish people I know- they say he was NOT the son of God, but they DO respect him as a good man, a good person, and yes as a non-divine but still inspirational prophet. There is a thing called RESPECT, and you give it to people like Confucius, Gandhi, and above them all, JESUS CHRIST. Whether or not he is divine, he is Jesus. Enough said. He was a great honest selfless man. He's 100x better than your filthy mouth will ever be. And likewise, 100x better than MY FILTHY MOUTH will ever be! So we should respect him. 5) Now, YOU are talking about religion, #92. Ya "hypocrite bastard"! And way to be hypocritical! If you're so devoutly jewish, what in the world are you doing cussing and judgind me? And saying the F word numerous times? Doesn't the OLD TESTAMENT say "don't judge, lest ye be judged?" Uhhh exactly. 6) You didn't answer the question "would they die for anybody else"? No, of course you wouldn't. Not by a longshot. I can already tell that your patience, love, and respect for your fellow man is wearing thin. Heck, forget about dying for me or anybody else- it only took the mere mention of Jesus for you to come close to biting my head off!!! =================================== last but not least, #92... 7) In Hebrew, a man called "Yeshua" died for your sins. There are numerous, NUMEROUS mentions of a man who would be born in bethlehem, and die for your sins, and ride into jerusalem on a donkey, and be born via virgin birth, and have his palms and feet pierced, and numerous other biblical OLD TESTAMENT (jewish "Torah") references! So in reality, "Christianity" is nothing more than a westernized version OF WHAT YOUR RELIGION, JUDAISM, SHOULD REALLY BE! I am not even technically "Christian". It's what I call myself cuz its generally known and accepted, but honestly I am a man of Judeo-Christian faith- I believe in the Jewish prophet Yeshua, who died for my sins. I read the Old testament just as much as I read the New testament. And yes, buddy, I have a high respect for the Jewish people! You are 1 sorta bad egg, you don't diminish my view of them one bit. So my point is, "Yeshua" (Jesus' hebrew name) was PREDICTED BY YOUR TORAH! If you were a good Jew and actually READ THE TORAH instead of doing whatever it is that you do, you would understand that Jesus doesn't "contradict" your religion of Judaism... JESUS FULFILLS YOUR RELIGION, AND EVERY ONE OF THE HUNDRED OR SO OLD TESTAMENT (TORAH) PROPHECIES!!!!!! You are a fool for thinking any differently. Sorry if I say so, but the facts and evidence are too good to miss. God and Jesus may or may not be divine, but 1 thing is certain- Jesus Christ, without a doubt, FULFILLED EVERY ONE OF THOSE PROPHECIES, the chance of which happening was less than 1 in a trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion of ever happening on earth, even when you combine every person that ever lived. So YES that is a big accomplishment. How do you deny that evidence? Stop defending tradition; stop defending your "religion"; and start embracing God and his holy son, Jesus Christ. Jesus isn't an enemy of Judaism, he IS Judaism! He is not a false prophet, he is the only begotten son of your lord and savior, Yahweh. Wake up people and smell the roses- we only get one chance at heaven. We might as well get it right the first time!

FMLwrestler 0

Basically, you need to stop embracing the church, religion, tradition, and all of that political jive crap; and start believing in THE TRUTH OF HIS WORD! Believe in what God himself tells you what to believe! Believe in what is RIGHT and TRUE! Let me ask you a question, OK? You know that in Genesis, Numbers, Isaiah, and Psalms alone, the Bible makes many many many mentions of the Messiah? God himself inspired those writings, if you believe any of it you must believe all of it, correct? Well then how do you discredit all of the writings inspired by God himself, proclaiming the joyous coming of Jesus Christ? You can't discredit them. The only thing you can do is ignore them... and Jews have been doing that for 2000 years, except for some of you who have realized that Jesus (or Yeshua) is God's son. Let me give you this one verse, from Isaiah: 1Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? 2For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. 3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. 9And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. 10Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. =========================== How can any self-respecting man with a heart, soul, and brain not connect that passage with the life (and especially crucifixion, scornment, and death) of Jesus Christ of Nazareth? I ask you people, especially those of you who are Jewish, good men but confused... see the light. Jesus is not an enemy, the idea of Jesus is not different or hostile or revolutionary. It has been predicted by the Almighty Yahweh for thousands of years. And #92, I would sincerely be glad if more people like you would see the light and perhaps come to terms with this, as I'm sure it will have a good impact on the majority of people's souls who come to Christ. Remember fellow men and women of this earth, "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." Matthew 7:13-14 "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." Isaiah 55:7 =============== In other words... Jesus is the Son of God, and is our savior. The way to heaven involves both belief in him, repeated confessions of any sin, and simply willingness to follow God's word and also to be of good spirit, and love thy neighbor and God more than you love yourself. Be of the poor, yet do not want, and God and Jesus promise us that our next life will make it all worth it. Do not judge others, lest you be judged; and nobody on earth has the right to judge, because we are all equally sinful in God's eyes. I mean, yeah, I know that I am.