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By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 18:34 - United States - Metairie

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 601

You deserved it 34 416

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Same thing different taste

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 580

By ohmygod582 - 14/04/2014 01:32 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 794

You deserved it 12 485

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 4 480

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 756

HEY YOU

By stabbed with kindness - 02/03/2013 21:44 - Russian Federation - Elektrostal

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 45 201

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

Sorry, man

By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 15 424

By Nicked - 25/04/2009 11:50 - Israel

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 011

You deserved it 15 795

By stupid - 27/05/2013 11:16 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 011

You deserved it 11 814

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Sunday 16 September 2012 2:57

Why the hell would that be your first reaction? "Somebody tapped my shoulder - I'm gonna punch their nuts!"

Lucious306 7

Sunday 16 September 2012 2:55

You're way too paranoid

Comments

kikiquickhands 2

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:04

...Why is your immediate reaction to being tapped on the shoulder "KICK! AIM FOR THE CROTCH!!!" Honestly, that's just retarded

truckdriver321 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:08

Ya you're a ******* retard

Goddess_Rummy 13

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:05

Nowadays, no good deed goes unpunished.

corytheg 6

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:11

I would have torn it up after that

verkaderk 9

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:20

Hittin those prescription meds a bit hard are we?

FayeFearless 6

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:26

Lol you have ninja reflexes or what?

stormchaser24 24

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:27

Yes, because that is how most muggings go. Tap on shoulder "I am mugging you". Nice reflexes op.

aperfectxdeath 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 11:13

Can't mug someone who doesn't know they're being mugged. You gotta get their attention somehow so you can have them hand over their things. :)

Levvy 22

Sunday 16 September 2012 20:32

Er... yes. You can mug someone who isn't aware. In fact, it's a pretty prime strategy. Force them to the ground, dig in pockets, snatch their purse, whatever else. It's a violent theft, not a polite exchange of services.

murphdarkly 13

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:39

Sounds like OP is a bit of a douche, doing that to someone who just tapped you on the shoulder.

jenniiienyc 5

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:45

He tapped you on the shoulder, he didn't punch you in the back of the head. Calm down, killer.

ShyAnn29 14

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:48

You never know, maybe something bad has happened to OP before, perhaps she was mugged, or raped, maybe that's why that was her first reaction.

snbr91 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 4:22

Today, I saw a girl drop her commuter pass. Trying to return it, I tapped her on the shoulder. Instead of thanking me, she turned around and punched me in the nuts. FML