Time to pretend

By fmeplease - 31/05/2009 21:10 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 76 270
You deserved it 12 749

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.

Animati0n 0

Comments

At least you've had plenty of practice :] I imagine you have an impressive man gun. haha I'm sorry for you dude... I've haven't had sex in a year and 4 months, because I've said no... A lesbian with morals? WTF!

So um, exactly how big is ur wanking arm?

doof_fisch 2

Save yourself for marriage. That's what God's gift of sex is for -- your spouse -- and by waiting for her to be your first-- you have given her an exceptional gift of your love. Any animal (and most do) can have sex. Look at all the posts that degrade you saying that "getting laid is easy." If you think of yourself as an animal in heat then that's one thing, but if you respect yourself and your future spouse, and God's Word-- then you will have a different attitude.

Sex isn't the prize of humanity, pick your self up and get a girlfriend. Girls will have sex with anything that tells them they love them in three weeks after a relationship has been engaged. Happy huntings!

Are you a guy? What's your name? You might just be my ex boyfriend, hehe. Don't worry about it. Sex isn't everything.

ohreally123 0

It's not a big deal. Maybe even consider saving yourself for marriage.

#132 Animals just have sex for mating purposes only, not for pleasure (except for dolphins). So you can't really compare human's sexual urges to an animal. You're either: lazy, hideous, or victim of some kind of social anxiety. But since you haven't cleaned your bedside table in 5 years, so I'm assuming you haven't moved out of your parent's house yet either...I'm going to go with lazy. Get up off your bum and get yourself some pussy.

HAHA #122 made me laugh so hard! Annnndd I want to try that flower pot thingy. Too funny.

lol, you don't need a condom when life ***** you...