Intimacy: Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove"....

By Anonymous - 24/06/2012 14:17 - Canada - Cochrane

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 064

You deserved it 3 287

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Same thing different taste

By myself - 20/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 460

You deserved it 31 247

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 6 454

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

By sickened - 21/09/2014 18:23 - United Kingdom - Gateshead

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 837

You deserved it 8 330

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 496

You deserved it 5 039

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 935

Cheers, asshat

By gross - 15/07/2011 01:09 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 366

You deserved it 5 036

Not now

By anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 344

You deserved it 4 720

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 004

You deserved it 28 779

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 485

lancesky 7

Sunday 24 June 2012 19:03

'Come on, it's a bargain! Only one previous owner!'

KiwiKitten 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 19:03

Hey he's gotta make money somehow!

Comments

ngriff15 1

Sunday 24 June 2012 21:22

That's not an FML. It's hilarious!!!

sarah56195 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 21:25

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahha. My new absolute favorite. Bahahahgahha

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Monday 25 June 2012 8:00

There's a button for that.

stary1722 6

Sunday 24 June 2012 21:39

So... Did you buy it?

baybeegirrrl95 5

Sunday 24 June 2012 21:44

Did you buy it?

darkmis1 17

Sunday 24 June 2012 21:44

It's not used - it just has moisturizing lotion in it! What a deal! I bet it's also 1/5 the price of a normal glove!

YourMoms_BF 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 21:47

The white thing was the magical lotion, you idiot.

perdix 29

Sunday 24 June 2012 22:08

They prevent babies and STDs. How can you not see the magic?

4gethishit 4

Monday 25 June 2012 23:38

it's not called magic if it's used. it's just called gross.

NoReservations 9

Sunday 24 June 2012 22:22

Poof! Oh, it broke.

amandarrr 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 22:39

How is this an FML unless you're dumb enough to buy it in which case YDI

Ncbaby2012_fml 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 23:08

At least someone was being safe

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I gave up on Grindr because every time someone finally sees my picture, they ghost me. Either I’m really ugly, or most of the world hates black guys, either way… FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 256

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 934

You deserved it 3 065

Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 137

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 122

Today, I decided to redye my hair. And the sink, and the wall, and the toilet seat, and the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 888

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 674

You deserved it 4 538

Same thing different taste

Cheers, asshat

Not now

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