Love: Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed...

By anon - 21/06/2011 11:52 - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 834

You deserved it 7 272

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Same thing different taste

Couch action

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 024

You deserved it 6 705

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 564

You deserved it 5 188

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 487

You deserved it 1 118

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 20:08 - United States - Clarksville

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 344

You deserved it 3 006

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 3 264

By jswag2004 - 11/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Elgin

Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 375

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 14/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 221

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 428

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 549

Creeped out of here

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 007

You deserved it 1 972

Blueglasscup 18

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:45

At least you went on a date with your crush!

hook_em 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:50

just one question. how do you know what a dying slug feels like on your lips? do you eat them things or something?

Comments

uncookedyew 4

Tuesday 21 June 2011 17:58

ydi

CaughtChaLookin 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:06

uuugh

SugaryTears 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:10

time for a new crush....?

berryblue 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:10

wowbis he a bad kisser

dawsum1 3

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:19

How old were you when you had your first kiss??? I'm just curious.. anybody reply.

OhHeySlogan 4

Tuesday 21 June 2011 20:10

IndigoFuckYou 9

Tuesday 21 June 2011 21:30

BooGhosted 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 9:29

I was a mere baby! My mommy was so happy to see me that day:D

Dante1337 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:59

lilykgillett 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:25

slugs die? if so, have you made out with a dying slug?

jubemer 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 21:43

nooooo, they live forever

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 22 June 2011 9:08

have you?

OhHeySlogan 4

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:25

train that boy!

grass_hopperr 1

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:29

AGH happened to me too! Except it was more like a slug having a seizure, then dying.

marcyfrances 4

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:32

I guess it's not your crush anymore!

SteveMagnifico 6

Tuesday 21 June 2011 18:34

how do you know what a dying slug feels like?

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Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 8 588

The Top

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 914

You deserved it 4 443

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 189

Today, I installed an app that notifies me of every purchase on my credit card. Now I'm being tormented by notification after notification as my wife decimates our finances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 503

You deserved it 962

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 879

You deserved it 2 602

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 936

You deserved it 6 775

Same thing different taste

Couch action

Classy

Creeped out of here

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