Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa.... - FML

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 952

You deserved it 3 378

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 610

You deserved it 8 245

Secret

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 051

You deserved it 2 887

Bizarre love triangle

By addicted2v - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 602

You deserved it 4 263

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 604

You deserved it 3 256

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 6 175

Pleased to meet you

By DB. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time… while they were bailing us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 859

You deserved it 61 947

By Anonymous - 30/01/2016 21:54

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 2 358

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 136 265

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 634

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 578

You deserved it 4 949

Next

Top comments

XDsmileyDX_fml 24

Monday 16 December 2013 22:35

Merry Christmas!

perdix 29

Monday 16 December 2013 22:41

No, your dad is still your dad. Your uncle is your biological father. The man who raises you deserves the honorable title of "Dad" whereas any swinging dick can be a father. To clear things up further, your mom is a *****.

Comments

yesrod 4

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:18

Arkansas?

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 17 December 2013 9:12

More like Canada...

casual_commenter 9

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:27

I'm surprised someone hasn't done the math already... Dad + Uncle = Duncle!

80zChyld 2

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:34

I bet you leave that off your family tree in anthropology class.

psycheiris13 20

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:37

I'm so sorry op, I can't imagine this situation happening to me. Good luck in the future.

FMLitsFire 4

Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:56

surprise!! :)

tnlander 20

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:18

This happened to me a few summers ago. It sucks that my mother was a *****.

Retrokitty 9

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:22

I think people are reading this two different ways.

Anikimer 4

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:32

it doesn't matter who ever raised you and acted like your dad is your father DNA doesn't mean anything.

jnanderson 16

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:32

Say hi to Myrcella, Tommen and Uncle Dad for me!

KR12T3N 15

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:44

Family "lies", I mean family "TIES"...

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 505

The Top

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 150

Today, a boy asked me out, and I immediately learned just how much it stinks to have 4 overprotective rugby player older brothers, an overprotective marine corps dad, and an overprotective two-star general grandfather. As a bonus, mom is an overprotective police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 147

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 773

You deserved it 11 867

Today, after telling a student that she had to take the online test on the date that I had assigned, she whined to the vice president of the college, who then told my dean that he needed to do something about it. She made me offer testing days on multiple dates. So much for integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 241

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 304

You deserved it 10 562