Miscellaneous: Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks... - FML

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 15:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 8 568

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 6 774

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 3 826

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 694

You deserved it 3 531

The spirit of John Lennon

By Becks - 07/09/2020 23:01

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 117

By seadrick - 06/06/2015 16:19 - Canada - Granville Ferry

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 808

You deserved it 2 140

By ewwww - 26/05/2013 17:55 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 580

You deserved it 4 318

By rivercitybarf - 08/08/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 707

You deserved it 6 900

By John - 26/03/2012 02:53 - Saint Lucia

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

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You deserved it 3 033

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 04:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 602

You deserved it 7 773

Next

Top comments

dylanger16 19

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:32

You might want to go to the doctor and get tested for diseases then

Queensland 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:33

Why would you want to eat a black jelly bean anyway, they're the worst!!

Comments

xivoricbutterfly 25

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:38

Did you have a bag of jelly beans or did you eat it off the floor because that's just disgusting .

BlueShade 17

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:39

Are there even black jelly beans...? I've seen really dark purple jelly beans but I don't think I've seen black. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Queensland 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:41

I think they're the same thing, people see them as both... Not much colour difference I don't think.

amanda182 19

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:43

Yes, there are such things as black jelly beans.

Ichiya 29

Sunday 22 February 2015 6:01

They are flavored with anus...erm I mean anise.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 22 February 2015 10:05

Big difference in flavor between black ones and purple ones.

kerstileann 26

Sunday 22 February 2015 15:38

Black Licorice? (i dont know what a deer tick looks like so i dont know if it looks like one)

kalbrek009 20

Sunday 22 February 2015 17:11

Ok. You're wrong. There are black jellybeans...you may just be somewhat color blind to the actual color...& yes, black licorice is black..not purple. Lol

peterblackmer91 12

Thursday 8 April 2021 8:28

you are wrong

lovelyvampire 16

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:42

black jelly beans suck, I wouldn't eat them anyways

Flaming_Pandas 15

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:48

New jelly bean flavor idea: Blood-filled deer tick

AbsyntheMayhem 23

Tuesday 10 March 2015 10:38

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!

CoolCookie210 22

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:49

I just cringed so hard

Lanabur 13

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:51

Please check a doctor, just in case. Icky! Sorry that happened.

Jay0501 21

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:52

I don't know.. They were disgusting before and they're disgusting now. Seems about right

bsums203 13

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:53

I cant think of much nastier.

mileyisamaniac 11

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:54

Ew!

drbckflps 22

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:57

D:

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Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 267

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

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The Top

Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 366

You deserved it 17 003

Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account. As part of the package, I get to choose five numbers that I can call without using any minutes. I could still only think of three numbers I call regularly: my parent's house, my mom's cell and my ex's cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 068

You deserved it 13 506

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

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You deserved it 3 789

Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML

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You deserved it 195

Today, I woke up to the sounds of fire alarms. Panicked and assuming it was my neighbor's gas furnace that set it off, I nearly broke their baby's bedroom window trying to wake them up. Turns out my roof leaked into the fire alarm, causing an electrical fire. It was my first day here. FML

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Today, my wife (who changed her mind about converting for me after we married) now wants me to set her friends up with guys I grew up with from the same church. She’s offended that my family doesn’t trust her friends, and wants me to be outraged on their behalf. FML

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