Miscellaneous: Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce...

By moe - 27/05/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 730

You deserved it 7 729

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Same thing different taste

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 820

You deserved it 6 292

By failureatlife - 27/04/2014 19:16 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 354

You deserved it 6 189

By youknowwhatitis - 22/06/2011 13:31 - Australia

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 735

You deserved it 36 006

By Anonymous - 09/01/2016 03:20 - Canada

Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 269

You deserved it 1 816

By whydoihavecats - 04/08/2015 19:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 2 660

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 239

By CA19oo - 20/03/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 744

You deserved it 2 077

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 34 743

By nothing_nobody - 23/06/2016 01:31

Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 594

You deserved it 1 960

By nukebroadcast - 16/12/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 6 015

HannahForbesxo 13

Friday 27 May 2011 14:29

It's a shame OP didn't lettuce know how it actually feels.

habest 2

Friday 27 May 2011 12:11

Well at least the person doing the slapping was thinking healthy. ;)

Comments

yummcookie 0

Friday 27 May 2011 15:45

I think you should lettuce know how it was!

lifesosux 0

Friday 27 May 2011 15:45

and just what does that feel like?

lifesosux 0

Friday 27 May 2011 15:47

that must have been really humiliating... lettuce pray... LAWWWLLLL

tykiej 0

Friday 27 May 2011 16:12

At least it wasnt a brick!!

ADub55 0

Friday 27 May 2011 16:52

the suspense is killing me...good or bad?

cdude200 10

Friday 27 May 2011 16:54

Atleast it wasn't a fish

wtfmylifedude 8

Friday 27 May 2011 17:09

Lettuce pray that the pain will go away.

quotechica 3

Friday 27 May 2011 17:14

so how does ur life suck?

YouDaIdiot 4

Friday 27 May 2011 17:59

yes... Fyl ... seriously..... hate to be you

kaileigh10 2

Friday 27 May 2011 18:26

WOW!!! That's hilarious.

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The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 2 074

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 068

You deserved it 6 273

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend for something trivial. Instead of yelling back, she was scarily calm and said, "Remember, I’ve got 50 lbs on you. Yell at me again and I’ll lay a pillow on your face and sit on it until you’re dead." I think she might mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 575

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 297

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 217

You deserved it 5 997

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 340

You deserved it 2 742

Same thing different taste

Sorry Sharon

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