Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep,...

By AdamFoundHisEve - 25/05/2010 19:08 - France

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 691

You deserved it 7 601

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By tarheels526 - 08/02/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 624

You deserved it 27 470

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 862

You deserved it 5 782

By Reno - 15/04/2013 16:25 - United States - Reno

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 679

You deserved it 8 971

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 962

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 674

You deserved it 8 845

Treat yourself

By Terri - 08/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 126

By GodDamnFan - 27/05/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 217

You deserved it 5 802

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 590

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 159

tygerarmy 35

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:05

Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?

XxXPeace2thelose 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:02

well that's sucks =P

Comments

symph13 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:23

damn. bad day for both of u

Erindub 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:29

Sorry dude but YDI. This is EXACTLY why I have a very strict, no liquids set on the same surface as my phone, rule.

sw33th3art 3

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:40

haha poor wife.

hippydawgdawg 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:41

if I was the wife I would be like **** u asshole!!

counterfit 10

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:44

I never knew that "drink the bubbly" was a euphemism for drinking champagne.

missaimee 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:47

leave it to dry for a few days then plug it into the computer and it should turn on! just male sure u keep it standing up so the water can drain out!! I dropped mine in water and it still works!!