Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep,...

By AdamFoundHisEve - 25/05/2010 19:08 - France

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 691

You deserved it 7 601

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By tarheels526 - 08/02/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 624

You deserved it 27 470

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 862

You deserved it 5 782

By Reno - 15/04/2013 16:25 - United States - Reno

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 679

You deserved it 8 971

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 962

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 674

You deserved it 8 845

Treat yourself

By Terri - 08/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 126

By GodDamnFan - 27/05/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 217

You deserved it 5 802

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 590

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 159

tygerarmy 35

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:05

Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?

XxXPeace2thelose 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:02

well that's sucks =P

Comments

lali1 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 1:13

put your phone Ina bowl of rice for a day that will soak all the water out of it and it should be fine

JokingJoe 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 1:13

put ur iPhone in the freezer. I heard it works.

Jus10Ceee 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 1:28

Throw your Ipod into a really ******* hot fire. I've been told it will dry it out.

gasbreakdipdip 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:27

I also heard that if you literaly shove your I-phone/touch up your ass and keep it there for 3 days no madder what happened to it it will be fixed

LilAfo 4

Wednesday 26 May 2010 8:44

but ur ass wont :b

FreshSalad 1

Wednesday 26 May 2010 1:46

The way you say "drink the bubbly" makes it sound like you were going to drink something else.... just sayin

xXCHAINEDXx 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 1:55

wats. threadjacking?

babyqirll22 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:02

haha

peaceloveshaina 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:09

hm, iPhones are about to go on sale like majorlyyyy at walmart...in america, lol.

Ucla_cupcake 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 8:59

And when I saw that on the news, I died a little on the inside. I should have waited.

acinom 3

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:11

I've gotten a whole glass of water spilled on my iPhone in the same manner and i just dried mine off and it was completely fine. no problems at all.

Snugglez 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:22

shit happens..

tha_xman 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:34

cheers!

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 84

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 087

The Top

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 960

You deserved it 5 952

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 324

You deserved it 3 281

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 011

You deserved it 8 736

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 3 541

Today, I flew cross-country. Since the movers with my furniture and car won't arrive for 2 weeks, I packed several bags with most of my clothes and charging cords. The airline lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 216

You deserved it 203

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 10 450