Intimacy: Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally...

By ewmomew - 12/09/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 700

You deserved it 9 383

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 207

You deserved it 4 187

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 203

You deserved it 56 645

Gatekeeping

By My eyes and ears - 20/08/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 622

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 317

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 708

You deserved it 12 897

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 457

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 611

You deserved it 7 233

Tinder surprise

By Oopsie - 27/05/2019 20:17

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 2 303

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 17 446

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 292

You deserved it 6 253

MetallicaRules19 4

Sunday 12 September 2010 12:16

"ILL KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD, if you dont tell me

weemcgreeger 1

Sunday 12 September 2010 12:13

no one tell him

Comments

like_its_ya_bday 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 15:17

lol... um yea I don't have much to say about this

TechFire 25

Sunday 12 September 2010 16:14

I think you're lying. Prove that you're a nymph. Now.

TwoStrikeBadAss 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 17:26

***COUGH COUGH*** ***** ***COUGH COUGH***

Delaneymarie 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 18:55

wow.

ManaUser 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 19:46

@64, maybe because they're a nymphomaniac.

oakleyguy 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 21:01

nymphomania lol so I take your sex crazied manaic just make sure you don't fall in love you'll just be making mistakes..,

Fici 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 21:18

I'm sure you havnt had a black **** yet. you wanna try something new

Stewie22 2

Sunday 12 September 2010 22:11

FAIL!!!!!!!!

Bombthreat907 4

Monday 13 September 2010 0:26

There are two clues in this FML that tell me that your lets a lot of stuff, "slip".

bigsc 0

Monday 13 September 2010 0:39

there's a difference between a where and a nymph. for reference watch beta house (the crazy chick that wouldn't stop *******)

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 311

You deserved it 16 543

Today, my girlfriend's homophobic cousin claimed she saw me making out with my gay friend in public. I was home alone all day, but my girlfriend is crying and unconvinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 483

You deserved it 196

Today, a nasty brat at the restaurant finally tripped up while running around uncontrollably, and hurt himself. I commented to my wife that "karma finally struck." The brat's mom heard me and threw my keys into the kids' ball pit. It’s been over an hour and even the bar staff can’t find my damn keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 598

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 620

You deserved it 3 900

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 057

You deserved it 5 467

Today, I told my supervisor that I want to do the work I was hired to do, which is Data Engineer. He told me he doesn't have the workload for another data engineer, and needs someone with people skills. He's very happy with the current situation. I left my previous job because of the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 98