Kids: Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son.... - FML

By yobruh - 17/05/2011 04:54

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 950

You deserved it 11 258

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 912

You deserved it 9 074

It's a pretty good response, though

By angrymom - 04/06/2021 01:59

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 163

By worldsmosthonestdad - 12/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 570

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 123

You deserved it 2 088

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 1 513

Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 13:58

Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 188

By :(( - 17/11/2013 20:27 - United States - Pearland

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 436

You deserved it 4 547

By PerpetuallyHappy - 25/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 1 939

By Noname - 26/02/2009 15:30 - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 104

You deserved it 476 131

Huge balls

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 19:04 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 147

Next

Top comments

hellogoodbye1996 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 21:44

so it was a parent teacher conference because he did exceedingly well on his test?

issoz 10

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:03

This kid sure knows about life!

Comments

usmcFML4life 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:12

Sooo what your saying is that he aced his test and you had a meeting about how much of a genius your kid is.

I_Fart_Freely 0

Friday 20 May 2011 5:04

what a boot

irokyoursox 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:14

exactly. chuck Norris is the answer to everything.

juturnaamo 29

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:17

Call Chuck Norris and have him round house kick your kid in the face.

iamtwiggyme 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:43

The teacher needs a roundhouse kick to the face!

amadais 1

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:20

was the teacher there because your son is now eligible for the gifted program?

mariazzz 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:23

Chuck Norris can draw a perfect circle with a ruler.

jaidonsafira 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 17:07

Chuck Norris counted to infinity and back. Twice.

alex1432 9

Tuesday 17 May 2011 19:53

when chuck Norris was born, the nurse holy **** it's chuck Norris! then she had sex with him. and at that point, that was the 3rd woman he had sex with

alex1432 9

Tuesday 17 May 2011 19:55

said*

zxcfghqeop 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:24

good tat your son know him

thebestof1984 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:25

You def. have the best son ever!!! Take him out for pizza for buy him something cool!!!

thebestof1984 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:27

*and

HannahLouise96 13

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:27

Your son is a genius.

fsaskid 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:28

chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow!

eklipze 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 19:31

chuck norris doesn't fight either, he just allows you to lose ;)

instnt1nfction 17

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:20

Chuck Norris doesn't bake, he just waits a couple of seconds for the ingredients to create something good

quadder 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:30

when chuck noris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up he pushes the earth down

teresedanielle 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:29

Haha, awesome!

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Suspicious Cheating Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 835

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 351

Today, I got slapped by a woman standing in front of me in line after a little kid grabbed her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 523

You deserved it 217

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 639

You deserved it 53 800

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 121

You deserved it 17 824

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 012

You deserved it 3 006

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 133

You deserved it 3 238