Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 920

You deserved it 798 789

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 875

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 626

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 794

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

asherlypants 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:59

LMFAO. OMG. Jst hope and pray she doesn't come after you for support. hahahaaha

oops_oops 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 21:44

HAHAHAHAHAHA. that sucks.

giveup2021 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:31

hahahahaha thats why you should never go in without a helmet man

choppedNskrewed 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:49

woahhh physco!!

choppedNskrewed 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:58

althoughh.......you may have deserved it. thats what you get for having "drunk sex with a girl you barely know"!!! lucky for you she didn't cut off your balls to add to her collection!

threecardmonty 2

Wednesday 11 March 2009 23:09

Wonder if you could sue her to avoid paying child support. That sounds a lot like rape, assault, and unlawful imprisonment. Yes, I just suggested that someone kidnapped your penis. http://pichaus.com/place-hide-fall-find-@8ad3a34b9c4038bd8281061e86708724/

jcho 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 23:23

WOW...that really sucks balls for you LOL! but at the same time, that's HILARIOUS beyond belief

panicxitsshell 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 23:54

omg. that sucks so bad! but its pretty funny

zander09 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 0:55

Dude, you have no idea how one-night-stands work. First, you have her suck you off. Then you oblige her in some way not including intercourse. Then you fake not being able to get hard again. Then you leave, having enjoyed a *******.

excusemydust 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 0:58

You'd better hope it was just a sick joke. If it wasn't, you won't find sympathy from anyone except your fellow fools. If you don't wanna end up paying child support, keep it in your pants or always use a condom.