Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 838

You deserved it 798 613

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 866

You deserved it 8 698

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 174

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 001

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 579

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 313

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 238

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 775

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 818

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

meanbeech 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 11:09

.... i think you need to watch this one doubt your the first of last to be a victim of hers.. and if you get a call saying guess what... you say you can go **** yourself till i can see some paternity testing done. also i would check for some diseases.. she doesnt sound like a girl youd bring home to mom. hopefully she isnt preggo.. and if she is i hope its not yours.

flyworld 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 11:15

Haha, you're ******. But that's funny.

Trini_Psycho 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 15:50

Man but i bet you one thing! it prolly felt sooo good bustin inside that wet pumpum!!! lmfao... trust me my ex ex ex was on the pill so yea condomless sex is the best thing on earth. I mean condoms take away sensation, and look on the positive side, women have a higher chance of getting pregnant if they are ovulating, they only ovulate once a month i think for a week, and its hard to get pregnant, so i mean if worst comes to worst,,, then yea ur life is ****** ur gonna have to do a #19 or a coat hanger or get an abortion or face the consequences of that dumb btch and have a bastard child =/ unless u get married than ur life is even more ******. im sorry for u yo

firebrad 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 17:46

LOL! bad deal man. Crazy bitches happen, bring a condom!

Mre_Man 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 19:04

Shit man, you're pissed and btw Pull Out doesn't work... P.E. : Even if you pull out a good 10 seconds before you "bust" she can still get pregnant... Safest way to make sure she isn't pregnant is to make her take le Morning-After pill... But safer than that... Just put on a ******* condom man god knows what kind of diseases she's carrying.

rick_rolla 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:14

Obviously someone here doesn't know about pre-jac. You're a moron for having sex with a girl and not wearing a condom. *Retard Voice* "Errrh, yeah, you can pull out, errhhh" Seriously, you shouldn't have posted this, because people are going to make fun of you until the day you die. Atleast you got your rocks off.