Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 920

You deserved it 798 789

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 875

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 626

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 794

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

alphaboy 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 8:07

Just say that you have HIV or that you have a vasectomy. Won't get your life back but at least you'll scare the shit out of her.

Leprecon 3

Thursday 12 March 2009 8:52

Get as far away from her as possible Dont say your full name. You never saw her dont go to parties at all for the next x months and tell your friends not to give out your full name She could sue you for child support, even though she sort of raped you. Seriously, this thing could end up ruining your life.

Leprecon 3

Thursday 12 March 2009 8:55

From reddit: Damn, something very similar happened to me once. The slight difference being that the girl was on top, i told her to get off when i was about to blow, instead she puhed down as hard as she could, wierd grin on her face, totally freaked me out. Some creative thinking got me out of it though. Shortly afterwards I told her that i had a rare blood condition, and the doctors told me that the medication i was on for it meant there was a 90% chance any child i fathered would be born severe mental and phisical disabilities. I informed her she was more then welcome to keep the child if she fell pregnant, but it was only fair that i let her know this fact, so as not to be an arsehole. Never saw her again, found out from friends that she got the morning after pill the very next day. Close call.

AnnStarfire 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:01

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAA. #17 made me piss my pants laughing. But you deserved that one, kid. Don't have unprotected sex with strangers. Or any kind of sex with strangers.... You're lucky she didn't have some kind of STD.

maiden_girl 5

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:30

Uhh... she could've have an STD. Pulling out is not 100% effective.

ideataxi 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 13:23

Fully awesome mate, I can't believe thats happened. good luck.

rttech82 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 14:00

OUch, I dunno about being F***** for life but you are certainly F****** for the next 18 years! RT www.privacy.at.tc

asdtertrwttewt 2

Thursday 12 March 2009 16:57

No one to blame but yourself!

newguy90 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 17:16

hahaha dude. there's this great group of ppl called friends, and when u dont have a condom it always works to ask one of them ;) here's another tip: stay away from crazy bitches ;)