Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at...

By Anonymous - 13/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 2 502

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 226

By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 137

You deserved it 5 311

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 98

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 912

You deserved it 4 877

By Congrats to me - 24/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Canton

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 712

You deserved it 4 152

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 2 355

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 164

By kylie18xx21 - 01/02/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 2 302

By nyebust - 01/01/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 211

You deserved it 8 144

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 736

You deserved it 4 506

DontClickOnMe 28

Monday 13 February 2012 9:01

Sounds like a cool grandma.

disco2466 8

Monday 13 February 2012 9:01

your grandma is gangsta

Comments

zombiebud 5

Monday 13 February 2012 10:40

damn man

switchgurl20 17

Monday 13 February 2012 10:43

I can see ur grandma isn't into bingo... These grandmas now a days are cool and don't give a shit lol. It's their time now.

asherm 15

Monday 13 February 2012 10:57

And next weekend you'll be pulling her out of the club at 2 am lol

BradleysMommie 0

Monday 13 February 2012 11:05

:D adorable! At least she's not boring old and grumpy right?

badactor009 0

Monday 13 February 2012 12:02

No, just drunk at an inappropriate time and place. Usually not well received by the god loving' crowd. Not like they would be judgmental or anything, right?

thamack408 11

Monday 13 February 2012 11:10

i wana party with her XD

ryanisexy 5

Monday 13 February 2012 11:19

That was a *holy* deed you did.

ravenxcorvinus 9

Monday 13 February 2012 11:42

GO GRANDMA! Lol

ravenxcorvinus 9

Monday 13 February 2012 11:47

ya know.. you're only supposted to SIP the communional offering, not DRINK the entire thing! lol

Alli201103 3

Monday 13 February 2012 11:50

Should've put her in a nursing home, your life sucks!

badactor009 0

Monday 13 February 2012 11:58

Gma got herself a little problem. Why? Chances are pretty high that her issues go deeper than drinking before church in the morning.

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love Family Cute Work Weird Embarrassing Miscellaneous Cancer Ironic Party Relatable Proposal Bosses Empathy Furniture Animals Dogs Zoom Phone calls Cats Delivery Amazon Kids Babysitter Mysterious Scary Birds Stuck

The Top

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 10 323

...

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 8

The Top

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 140

You deserved it 72 926

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 796

You deserved it 18 488

Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 544

You deserved it 4 691

Today, it's my last day at my job because I'm moving to another city. My boss handed me a card and chocolates. The same boss that didn't sign the card because, "Even though you're a great employee, I probably won't remember your name in a fortnight." I've been there three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 857

You deserved it 1 105

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 6 048

Today, I found out the job I applied for in IT was offered to coworker. I'm going to school for it, she has no degree/desire/knowledge of it. She was my trainer, I literally worked beside her for 2.5 years, and kept saying, "I hope you get it, I'm not going to apply." It was offered 5 days ago, which I found out about from another coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 162

Same thing different taste

Drunk level: 2000

Top comments

Comments