Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at...

By Anonymous - 13/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 2 502

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 226

By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 137

You deserved it 5 311

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 98

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 912

You deserved it 4 877

By Congrats to me - 24/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Canton

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 712

You deserved it 4 152

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 2 355

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 164

By kylie18xx21 - 01/02/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 2 302

By nyebust - 01/01/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 211

You deserved it 8 144

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 736

You deserved it 4 506

DontClickOnMe 28

Monday 13 February 2012 9:01

Sounds like a cool grandma.

disco2466 8

Monday 13 February 2012 9:01

your grandma is gangsta

Comments

OHai15 12

Monday 13 February 2012 23:49

too much Jesus Juice??

joker118 7

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:04

well the Granny award goes to your grandma congrats

greens_fml 5

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:34

Cause she's ******* THUGLIFE !

DoubleCross 9

Tuesday 14 February 2012 1:17

go to work gramps

RockVolley09 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 1:32

Hell yeah grandma!!!!

behady 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 1:54

You have to make church fun some how

RebalLove 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 3:49

Lmfao .. So thats whats happening at Bible Studies now and daya

Blah201 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:20

Hey it's 12 o'clock somewhere

RiahFaye 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:49

That's awesome lol

mpclaw 3

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:54

Where better to be drunk?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 201

You deserved it 69 553

Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 6 217

The Top

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 153

Today, I realized I'm a failure as a man. It's been 17 years since a woman even touched me. I grew up fatherless, have completely lost hope for any chance of a wife or kids. I'm 35 and never been in a relationship. I'm a complete failure because of all this, and have become a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 370

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 847

You deserved it 26 144

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 791

You deserved it 5 122

Today, I tried the 'drop the towel' challenge in front of my wife so I could record her reaction for TikTok, and maybe get some weekend booty. She barely even reacted, gave me the 'go away I’m busy' arm wave, and when I didn’t leave fast enough, she actually whipped my knob with her charging cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 1 950

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 849

You deserved it 372

Same thing different taste

Drunk level: 2000

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