Health: Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period....

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By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 601

You deserved it 3 493

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The horror

By GW. - 01/04/2025 07:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 74

By Duchess - 20/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 522

You deserved it 722

By Lolly - 12/09/2018 23:30

Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 293

You deserved it 836

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 214

You deserved it 2 769

By Jobby - 30/06/2012 12:48

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 779

You deserved it 2 719

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 170

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 85

Good times, bad times

By st3phani3b - 26/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I'm stuck at home waiting on a plumber to come fix the flooding in my basement. The flooding happens when any sink, shower, or toilet in the house is used. Today is also the day that I started my period. Without water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 721

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 26/10/2015 04:42

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 547

You deserved it 5 755

By cmoney6452 - 01/03/2012 16:17 - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 200

You deserved it 2 517

sucksforyoudude 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:02

sucks for you babe, get to feelin better

lolcatsyo 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:02

I recommend an apple a day.

Comments

fylseriously 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:31

ewwwwww

kaydee085 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:41

kinda gross not gunna lie lol

steveo126 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:42

awww that sucks

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:45

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. I'm dripping blood and vomit's spewing out :] Sorry, OP. FYL :(

Ajjas013 6

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:48

TARA :D

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:49

AJJAS :D

sum1savemeh 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:35

haha that was funny tara

Nissi 17

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:47

FYL honey. :[

kissonthelips 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:52

wow that kinda made my vigina and stomach hurt the second time I read that

theeBeezWaXx 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 20:12

ugh, wayy too much info but maybe you should see a doctor. it looks like mother nature doesnt like you at all. "/

YunqFlyMa21o 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 20:26

aww hope youu feel better .!

GlaoigharAirm 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 20:51

I love you @_@

Rawwrness 3

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:17

WTF?!

bootje 5

Tuesday 9 February 2010 20:54

Someone has the flu. This is NOT an FML.

nm22395 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 21:08

hey fuckhead she also has food poisoning and is on her period.

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The Top

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 564

You deserved it 6 857

Today, my wife went and bought a set of fancy, expensive towels and threw all our old towels away. These new towels don't dry. I've been rubbing myself for ten minutes and I'm still wet. How did she buy expensive, broken towels? How do you make a towel that doesn't dry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 674

You deserved it 3 827

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 706

You deserved it 4 037

Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 99

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 171

You deserved it 3 312

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He left with the door kicked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 473

You deserved it 2 564

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 338

You deserved it 11 435