Intimacy: Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the...

By Heather - 12/11/2012 21:20 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 206

You deserved it 3 240

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Same thing different taste

By movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 633

You deserved it 5 308

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 366

You deserved it 29 514

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 2 484

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 3 323

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 4 749

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 374

You deserved it 41 852

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 192

You deserved it 6 469

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 338

You deserved it 2 564

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 293

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 378

swagisforchumps 9

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:28

Um... how did you learn that?

heinous966 15

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:28

Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.

Comments

Stormdriven37 6

Tuesday 13 November 2012 5:48

That quite a shock. You must have questioned other things in your childhood. Like the fact that your mom may have given your dad a ******* before kissing you goodnight.

CheeseTron 15

Tuesday 13 November 2012 6:24

I know! I read your profile and literally cried laughing! Hahaha thank you sir!

supportcommand 17

Tuesday 13 November 2012 6:28

It's not comes. It's cums. Example: oh my god I'm gonna cum! Quoted from Ass Blasters 2.

j3ebrules 13

Tuesday 13 November 2012 6:35

Yep, I know what you mean op.

glitteringmoon 4

Tuesday 13 November 2012 6:45

It's an fml for her mom sounding like a bird when she comes. Now that's the real tragedy! lol

gmc_blossom 21

Tuesday 13 November 2012 7:13

McDonald's just got told by a penguin. It should feel bad.

bakerella 29

Tuesday 13 November 2012 7:31

LMAO!! For a while in my teenage years I thought I was hearing an owl.. turns out it was my mother. Maybe it's not uncommon for a woman to make owly sounds during

panda_lou 11

Tuesday 13 November 2012 7:44

I'm not sure how one would manage such a high pitched chirp. Maybe she was trying to not let any sound out but the extra tension caused any sound to come out more like a squeak?