Intimacy: Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the...

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By Heather - 12/11/2012 21:20 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 219

You deserved it 3 242

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Same thing different taste

By movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 648

You deserved it 5 311

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 378

You deserved it 29 523

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 113

You deserved it 2 487

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 3 340

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 851

You deserved it 4 750

Confusing

By frenchpop1960 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 593

You deserved it 42 147

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 6 476

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 343

You deserved it 2 568

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 296

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 2 387

swagisforchumps 9

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:28

Um... how did you learn that?

heinous966 15

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:28

Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.

Comments

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Tuesday 13 November 2012 3:12

No one would dare question that, Noor :)

tsent8 15

Tuesday 13 November 2012 3:19

Not my fault if you made a stupid reference

BloodandIce 11

Tuesday 13 November 2012 3:35

Somebody told me I raped his childhood because I said a Mickey Mouse cake wreck looked like a penis. His childhood is nothing compared to yours. I'm sorry.

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 13 November 2012 5:24

The truth hurts. Penis-Mickey and "birderwauling" are some of those things you have to let go and laugh about it. As for the usage of "raping" someone's childhood just because of THAT is nothing short of an overreaction. Did you at least call for a Waaahmbulance?