Intimacy: Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the... - FML

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By Heather - 12/11/2012 21:20 - United States - Bethesda

Spicy

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 214

You deserved it 3 242

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Same thing different taste

By movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Spicy

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 642

You deserved it 5 311

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 372

You deserved it 29 522

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 108

You deserved it 2 485

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 295

You deserved it 3 337

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 850

You deserved it 4 749

Confusing

By frenchpop1960 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 589

You deserved it 42 139

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 203

You deserved it 6 473

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 341

You deserved it 2 566

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 038

You deserved it 296

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 700

You deserved it 2 385

Next

Top comments

swagisforchumps 9

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:28

Um... how did you learn that?

heinous966 15

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:28

Your fathers windshield must be quite dirty.

Comments

tsent8 15

Wednesday 14 November 2012 0:48

Ever heard what we make our burgers out of? We deserve that revenge.

coach25 5

Wednesday 14 November 2012 2:05

First, how did you find this out? Secondly how does one make the bird noise while having the "O" face?

B5B0N35 18

Wednesday 14 November 2012 3:46

huh same thing happend to me

fallenangel72 7

Wednesday 14 November 2012 6:27

Ew that's disgusting

pradip 26

Wednesday 14 November 2012 10:05

Ur dad would've felt like **********.

InUrArea 4

Wednesday 14 November 2012 18:46

Ewwwwwww

Likian5 26

Wednesday 14 November 2012 20:04

Bird is the word...

sissycullen 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 0:33

PenguinBitch- I cannot tell you how much i enjoyed your use of the word "dweeb". Thank you for making my day.

m4rkman573 6

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:45

I was Walking my dogs web they saw a squirrel. It wouldn't of been so bad if I wasn't holding my phone so my phone went flying, my glasses and so did I. My glasses are shattered, my phones is broken to pieces, and my face is now has 9 stitches.

sherivengeance 3

Thursday 15 November 2012 8:24

That's so odd!

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