Love, Intimacy and Animals: Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed...

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 6 936

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Same thing different taste

By catlady - 01/03/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 637

You deserved it 9 069

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 412

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 526

You deserved it 5 805

By LaurahLunatic - 05/09/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 168

You deserved it 6 053

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 1 064

By crazycatlady - 19/11/2012 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 18 425

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 496

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 00:09 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 5 236

By Drafrica - 13/10/2014 10:20 - South Africa

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 744

You deserved it 5 800

devendra_fml 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:00

your name is quite appropriate, in that case.

PhillyFox 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:09

This kind of depends on how old you are. If you're like 50 and you still haven't gotten laid even though you want to, then yeah, FYL. If you're 17, then the world isn't going to end if you don't have sex tomorrow.

Comments

Loveya448 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:29

You need to get laid.

Zingers 9

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:31

Wow, I thought you were going to say your dad before I was done reading it. xD

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:34

Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with monogamy. Is he good?

Cheekers1989 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 9:39

Hahahahaha. That's hilarious. =)

Spaceghost77 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:35

Are you ugly, not trying, or looking for love? I bet the first and last.

drewbell 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:38

the bad news is.. it's still a pussy...

JulzKay 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:44

Today, I read too many FMLs with lonely ******* people griping.

Rabbity 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 1:32

Agreed.

stereofidelica 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 6:50

This.

Shaynasdfjkl 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:45

Not a bad thing, you're not a *****.

nasat 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 9:36

judging by your pic I can't say the same hahaha

Lolzords 11

Tuesday 7 December 2010 2:45

Zing.

legendary1993 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:48

When the lights are off it's easy to forget that he's your dad.

Poetic_catfish 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:54

It's shallow and pathetic to think that having sex makes you a **** or *****

ridikulous 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:40

this^

gingersnapper 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:58

How is this an FML? Embrace the joys of lesbianism, young woman. EMBRACE THEM!111eleventy.

Oz_Alice 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 17:17

This.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 2 947

Today, I found out my fourteen-year-old daughter is making more money than me, thanks to babysitting and winning writing contests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 464

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 964

You deserved it 3 209

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 324

You deserved it 39 904

Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend, trying to prove to him that I was stronger. I did. He started crying. He then broke up with me because he couldn't be in a relationship in which his girlfriend was stronger than him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 502

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 414

You deserved it 1 033

Same thing different taste

Good boy, best boy

Meow!

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