Love: Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while...

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 947

You deserved it 8 308

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Same thing different taste

By woahlaura - 14/02/2016 16:26 - United States - Houston

Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 758

You deserved it 3 387

Very helpful, dude

By anon - 14/06/2021 08:01

Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 222

Great, I guess

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 460

You deserved it 8 002

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 4 344

By hungry - 15/08/2016 03:03 - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 020

You deserved it 2 217

Off script

By Going hungry - 28/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 170

Parenting gone feral

By hungry - 22/10/2019 04:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 298

By Alisha Marie - 04/08/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 898

You deserved it 9 041

By depressedpreggo - 18/11/2012 11:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 385

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 103

You deserved it 3 952

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:05

Ice cream is awesome! I'm lactose intolerant too, but I don't care when it comes to that!

knights95 9

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:09

But they have cheese in them. Fail.

Comments

marcyfrances 4

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:39

he is not the love of your life obviously, so lose him now

cumverg 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:42

He gets the Charlie Sheen Seal of Approval. Thus, he's winning. For all eternity.

sweetassugar2 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:43

you want something done right the first time...do it yourself :)

OreoKami 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:48

HOT POCKETS!!!!! YUMMMMM!!!;D

Mr_Narwhal13 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:56

i thought they banned hot pockets

afilingcabinet 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:05

then get your own dam groceries next time

mag4dust 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

nanner6206 24

Monday 20 June 2016 22:27

He should think of someone other than himself. He was selfish and inconsiderate, which is inexcusable; especially with OP carrying his child.

nanner6206 24

Monday 20 June 2016 22:28

He should think of someone other than himself. He was selfish and inconsiderate, which is inexcusable; especially with OP carrying his child. F-HER-L

lisha88 1

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:07

wth smh tell him take it all back and get what u asked for

WhiteBoyThatCan 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:11

every1luvsboners idk why but I love you...

bekster88 3

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:11

NEVER send a man out for groceries.

geeksaresexy 18

Wednesday 29 June 2011 10:48

I couldn't even take my ex with me never mind letting him do it on his own! He'd sneak things in the trolley like toy cars and one time a doorbell..

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 935

You deserved it 6 690

Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 381

You deserved it 807

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 6 840

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 672

You deserved it 3 280

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 801

You deserved it 30 067

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 092

You deserved it 2 879