Love: Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while...

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 938

You deserved it 8 306

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Same thing different taste

By woahlaura - 14/02/2016 16:26 - United States - Houston

Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 750

You deserved it 3 386

Very helpful, dude

By anon - 14/06/2021 08:01

Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 213

Great, I guess

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 446

You deserved it 7 998

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 200

You deserved it 4 343

By hungry - 15/08/2016 03:03 - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 013

You deserved it 2 211

Parenting gone feral

By hungry - 22/10/2019 04:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 294

By Alisha Marie - 04/08/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 890

You deserved it 9 030

By depressedpreggo - 18/11/2012 11:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 985

You deserved it 2 378

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 099

You deserved it 3 951

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 126

You deserved it 3 503

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:05

Ice cream is awesome! I'm lactose intolerant too, but I don't care when it comes to that!

knights95 9

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:09

But they have cheese in them. Fail.

Comments

heavyt 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:12

hot pockets have cheese!

DawnWaker 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:14

Next time he asks you to make him a sandwich, put in a tofu patty instead of meat.

lfsabtch 4

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:18

Umm... you people realize that Hot Pockets generally have cheese, right?

jellybelliez 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:26

then hope u like hot pockets (:

MrKing45 6

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:39

Well at least he's not completely helpless.

divadro102 16

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:43

He's ******* with yo head..

sandmancometh 3

Wednesday 29 June 2011 8:58

ATTA BOY!!!

jkfutter 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 9:20

what about the ice cream?

castrosabeast 7

Wednesday 29 June 2011 9:29

you mad bro?

fizzpoplady 3

Wednesday 29 June 2011 13:52

The correct format is "Umadbro?"

ribbyc80 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 9:38

yes, getting drunk, ******* a pocket, covered in ice cream and pickles!!!

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The Top

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 039

You deserved it 3 698

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 458

You deserved it 4 301

The Top

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 701

You deserved it 2 619

Today, I took my daughter to get the expensive pixie cut she’s been "dying" for. As soon as we got home, my husband burst into hysterical laughter and pointed out that she looks exactly like he did in high school. Now she’s sobbing and begging for either a wig or even more expensive extensions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 220

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 578

You deserved it 2 154

Today, I e-mailed an employer to ask about a job I had applied for earlier. The employer in question was on vacation. The person who replied had the position which I had applied for mentioned in their signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 786

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 41 620

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 464

You deserved it 22 518

Same thing different taste

Very helpful, dude

Great, I guess

Parenting gone feral

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