Miscellaneous: Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 098

You deserved it 10 270

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Same thing different taste

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 438

You deserved it 2 982

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 30 103

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 32 371

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 438

You deserved it 13 266

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 176

You deserved it 2 041

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 9 799

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 3 181

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 407

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 429

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 276

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:00

that's like when dudes sit on their balls. there are no winnings...except for the inanimate objects I suppose

XCrazyMofo2010X 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:03

Are they that big?

Comments

shagy_91 8

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:41

How?!!

DotDootyDot 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:42

OUCH OUCH OUCH and OUCH!!!

kmartFTW 12

Saturday 18 January 2014 22:26

Its at this time that I'm really glad I'm a guy!

HopeEndlessly 6

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:44

Just be glad you're not flat-chested!

KawaiiCupcake 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:35

Your a disrespectful jerk. There is nothing wrong with being flat chested.

an3ph 20

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:51

Some people will do anything to get some action.

kmartFTW 12

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:54

Is it mean if I kinda wish I could've seen it happen? ..sorry OP

WasabiMars 21

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:04

I never knew it this was possible. Have your breast checked OP. I hope you're fine.

gracehi 31

Saturday 18 January 2014 19:39

Oh, she's fine alright. ;)

Alvarortor 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:09

Would it be wrong to assume that your boobs are big

challan 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 22:58

if they weren't, one is now.

cheesebond 29

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:13

Do you need me to come kiss it?

Jasmeent11 15

Sunday 19 January 2014 9:38

Wtf.

speakersboom 19

Tuesday 21 January 2014 6:20

Come kiss the bottom of my shoe. Really hard. With your whole face.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:13

It's time to trade in your Hyundai for a HyunDD.

ahsanmasood 4

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:23

how does that even happen????

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Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 472

You deserved it 9 839

The Top

Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 741

You deserved it 388

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 861

You deserved it 3 953

Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 722

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 841

You deserved it 2 332

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 303

Today, I, a man in his 40’s, wanted to rid myself of all back, thigh, buttock, and pubic hair. The first strip of pubic hair the tall 22 year-old girl yanked on almost made me cry, and almost made me knee her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 815

Same thing different taste

Roadworthy

I'm so tired

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