Miscellaneous: Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 101

You deserved it 10 270

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Same thing different taste

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 439

You deserved it 2 982

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 534

You deserved it 30 104

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 32 371

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 438

You deserved it 13 266

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 176

You deserved it 2 041

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 9 800

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 114

You deserved it 3 181

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 407

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 429

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 280

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:00

that's like when dudes sit on their balls. there are no winnings...except for the inanimate objects I suppose

XCrazyMofo2010X 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:03

Are they that big?

Comments

shagy_91 8

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:41

How?!!

DotDootyDot 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:42

OUCH OUCH OUCH and OUCH!!!

kmartFTW 12

Saturday 18 January 2014 22:26

Its at this time that I'm really glad I'm a guy!

HopeEndlessly 6

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:44

Just be glad you're not flat-chested!

KawaiiCupcake 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:35

Your a disrespectful jerk. There is nothing wrong with being flat chested.

an3ph 20

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:51

Some people will do anything to get some action.

kmartFTW 12

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:54

Is it mean if I kinda wish I could've seen it happen? ..sorry OP

WasabiMars 21

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:04

I never knew it this was possible. Have your breast checked OP. I hope you're fine.

gracehi 31

Saturday 18 January 2014 19:39

Oh, she's fine alright. ;)

Alvarortor 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:09

Would it be wrong to assume that your boobs are big

challan 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 22:58

if they weren't, one is now.

cheesebond 29

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:13

Do you need me to come kiss it?

Jasmeent11 15

Sunday 19 January 2014 9:38

Wtf.

speakersboom 19

Tuesday 21 January 2014 6:20

Come kiss the bottom of my shoe. Really hard. With your whole face.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:13

It's time to trade in your Hyundai for a HyunDD.

ahsanmasood 4

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:23

how does that even happen????

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The Top

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 983

You deserved it 14 364

Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact that we dated in college, and she insisted we wait until after we were married to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 859

You deserved it 386

The Top

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 447

You deserved it 3 002

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 098

You deserved it 2 864

Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 840

You deserved it 3 726

Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 12 473

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 016

You deserved it 3 236

Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 334

You deserved it 356

Same thing different taste

Roadworthy

I'm so tired

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