Intimacy: Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend...

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 322

You deserved it 9 621

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Same thing different taste

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 436

You deserved it 8 032

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 4 134

By Perdito_Coño - 05/09/2014 20:55 - Australia - Quakers Hill

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 752

You deserved it 7 616

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

By Scorned - 16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 3 890

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 970

You deserved it 6 008

By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 310

You deserved it 5 081

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 974

You deserved it 3 073

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 13 117

thomcmoore 23

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:33

Yeah...FYL brother

1tsmenoah 20

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:34

You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.

Comments

The_only_Eric 4

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:50

Hey man it's alright. Sizes don't matter to SOME people.

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:52

How funny. As I was reading this thread, the song Do You Love Me came on. Guess not. Sorry OP.

Butwhymeagain 12

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:53

1 word _>

Trukamouche_fml 18

Tuesday 4 March 2014 19:17

That's not a word.

rockhead1270 5

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:55

Is your little friend circumcised? Lol. That sux

magickitten 26

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:03

Wow...there must be something bad going on down there for her to (over)react like that. Have a wash, a trim and find yourself another girlfriend!

SJean88 7

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:19

I'm sorry, some people have no manners. Don't worry, some girls love men and their penises in all forms. That's who you want, an enthusiastic, loving and understanding partner. I'm sorry if you have feelings for her, maybe you can work things out.

BMTHsuperfan 18

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:23

does odin happen to be the pet name you gave your penis?

JoshuahColins 19

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:26

Did... Did you touch the butt?

underthesea12 24

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:27

Try washing your junk!

MooseKnuckle5150 13

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:33

Try some hygiene, buddy. Wash yourself, clean the whole deal, nuts, taint, ass crack, clean the grease from your asshole and trim up the jungle. No one wants to go down on a sour sweaty mess. Do the deed after a shower, not a marathon.