Intimacy: Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 988

You deserved it 42 023

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Same thing different taste

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 305

You deserved it 51 899

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 868

You deserved it 5 977

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 192

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 593

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 774

You deserved it 6 017

Life goals

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 889

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 676

You deserved it 7 573

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 45 543

Rookie mistake

By dreamisugly - 10/10/2022 11:00

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 2 237

By kte - 30/12/2009 10:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 2 648

cameronman9 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:42

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

comedybreak 20

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:39

This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her

Comments

GingerPanda94 6

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:27

That's what you get for going to a club next to the train tracks...

JaysFanStu 3

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:32

Was she grinding extra hard (giggity) because her hormones were raging and she was extra horny?

righound 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:33

Well at least u know she *****

phatdaddy62 23

Saturday 2 June 2012 22:36

Are you 13?

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:33

Rawfull!!!

JustAGuy107 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:39

It's always good to try new things. You should do BDSM next.

AzzieC 12

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:40

Wow........

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:47

Pregnant people need money too! Did you feel the baby kick when she let you motorboat her?

xXRazelleLuniiXx 9

Saturday 2 June 2012 20:49

Oh "baby"! ;)

YouJustGotMozzd 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:01

Threesome? Yay???

xXRazelleLuniiXx 9

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:33

With a child? Disgusting, sir.

juls39393 5

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:05

You paid her!! Duh...

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 157

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

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Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 861

You deserved it 3 835

Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 426

You deserved it 2 398

Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 219

Today, and for the past two months, I've been raising a baby goat, whose mother rejected her. I went to visit my mom, and brought my goat with me, as my mom lives on 14 acres of farmland. I went to make her bottle for dinner, and when I came back outside, my mom's truck and my goat were gone. She won't say who she gave her away to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 133

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 3 261

Today, for reasons that I dare not ask, I received a topless selfie from my Nan followed quickly by a simple sorry text. Sorry is not going to pay for the years of therapy I need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 758

You deserved it 2 687

Same thing different taste

Get out of here

Life goals

Rookie mistake

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