Intimacy: Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Spicy

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 988

You deserved it 42 024

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Same thing different taste

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 305

You deserved it 51 902

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 868

You deserved it 5 978

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 192

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 594

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 774

You deserved it 6 017

Life goals

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 890

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 678

You deserved it 7 573

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 45 545

Rookie mistake

By dreamisugly - 10/10/2022 11:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 2 237

By kte - 30/12/2009 10:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 2 648

Next

Top comments

cameronman9 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:42

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

comedybreak 20

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:39

This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her

Comments

lubu8ju 3

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:10

Do you have to pay extra for that?

disneydraeer 10

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:18

But you didn't stop it so on some weird level you enjoyed it...

Fraggled 5

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:21

Um you have to agree to and pay for the lapdance to receive one. They don't just come over and start grinding on you. Your fault OP, you obviously wanted it.

jojimugo 20

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:33

Two for one huh?

StreetReaper 9

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:45

Can't knock her up twice.

xmichigo3 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:50

OH BABY. Sorry op. But. Doesn't matter, got lap dance.

_Peppermint_ 34

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:50

I'm terribly sorrry but that really,makes me horny...I guess im just into that kind of thing.

therealslim 15

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:39

What. The. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

1710_fml 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 13:16

You are ******* weird you long haired ******

1710_fml 0

Tuesday 12 June 2012 16:16

You are totally ******* gay

Ajwc101 24

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:55

Serves you right.

auspycious 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:56

**** your life

perdix 29

Saturday 2 June 2012 21:57

You need to tip her double -- she's shakin' that shit for two!

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Keywords

AITA Awkward First Dates Love Cute Dogs Animals Am I overreacting? Alcohol Relatable Food Health Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Cheating Suspicious Contraception Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Gifts Birthday

The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 4 499

Today, a friend told me he thought I was hot and we ended up having lunch together. I like him and we’ve already arranged a second date, but when I mentioned this to someone else, she got pretty upset. Turns out she liked me and had been dropping hints for a while. No clue what’ll happen to my friendship with her… FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I got divorced. In a 4 minute 40 second phone call with the judge, which ended with him saying, "Congratulations!" I didn't want this. I just didn't see the point in fighting to stay in a marriage that my ex didn't want. Now my underlying depression is worse, and i have to fake it for the sake of our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 185

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 161

You deserved it 12 400

Today, I married the beautiful girl I’ve been in love with since we were both 6 years old. By married, I mean I performed the marriage ceremony as the vicar and watched her smile and kiss her arsehole boyfriend, now husband, right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 747

You deserved it 1 306

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I found out that my cousin has an OnlyFans, and I subscribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 823

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 072

You deserved it 220