Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes...

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 736

You deserved it 61 828

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By Anonymous - 17/06/2018 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 505

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By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

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You deserved it 362

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 616

You deserved it 8 754

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 921

You deserved it 10 431

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:15

I bet your throat hurts from crashing into his pole ;)

TheTigerRoars 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:17

Well, that you kind of deserve. I don't see why you humans even drive cars, they are so dangerous. -Fluffy McTiger

Comments

ISlangWang 7

Saturday 25 October 2014 0:44

"Road head" takes place on the side of the road, play it safe next time

ABitOfAMess 8

Thursday 20 November 2014 21:57

You could have waited to be home for that. You kind of deserve it. :/

WarriorOmen 25

Saturday 6 December 2014 22:28

Road head is supposed to be given in a PARKED car. Lesson learned?

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 31 March 2015 22:28

Before I joined FML, I didn't think there were people this stupid in the world. Ever since I joined, I've seen the world differently.

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 6 June 2015 5:18

Why would you distract him while he was driving?

user716 11

Saturday 10 October 2015 4:46

Why did you perform fellatio in a moving car. Pull over for that.

Kaylana_fml 31

Wednesday 28 December 2016 19:40

You could have killed someone or yourselves. I have to drive on the same roads as idiots like you, and yet you get to keep your licenses. That's F everyone else's life, not FYL.