Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 748

You deserved it 61 873

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 6 052

Effective

By Nublet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 432

You deserved it 5 587

Braggadocious

By krissy8799 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 292

You deserved it 10 116

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 589

You deserved it 4 959

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 681

You deserved it 10 006

By Anonymous - 17/06/2018 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 519

You deserved it 1 044

A tad overbearing

By nehadrihan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oceanside

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 817

You deserved it 3 460

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 629

You deserved it 8 765

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 928

You deserved it 10 440

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:15

I bet your throat hurts from crashing into his pole ;)

TheTigerRoars 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:17

Well, that you kind of deserve. I don't see why you humans even drive cars, they are so dangerous. -Fluffy McTiger

Comments

SelectStart 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 9:50

1man1jar.com

defferwa 9

Sunday 10 October 2010 6:18

is his dick okay?!

IronZombie 0

Sunday 10 October 2010 9:25

dude sucks at driving. a real man knows how to handle his road head and alcohol

Griggy 0

Sunday 10 October 2010 19:56

I'm moving to Michigan...

rique_fml 0

Monday 11 October 2010 5:39

that sucks but it is sad too

hobosareawesome 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 4:40

That is just nasty to do in your fathers car. Just sayin'

klynhunter 0

Friday 22 October 2010 19:46

awe, will your girlfriend not give you a little road head?

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 23:08

I bet the windows are coverd with cum

ThickHead 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:22

idk what whiplash even is xD

chetchatter 5

Wednesday 29 December 2010 0:55

YFDI u dumbslut

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Cats Music Dance Cute Instagram Cheating Love Social Media Money Kids Pizza Parenting Coworkers Ironic Work Relatable Mental health My ex Transportation Awkward Miscellaneous Keys Neighbours Vacation Family Annoying Accident Pregnancy Health

The Top

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 566

You deserved it 6 857

Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 353

You deserved it 7 571

The Top

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all, except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 1 176

Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 604

You deserved it 2 551

Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 107

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 120

You deserved it 16 901

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 412

You deserved it 5 426

Today, my vet prescribed Xanax for my very anxious dog, because he keeps me awake all night whining and pacing. He slept soundly for about an hour, then woke up, threw up all over my carpet, and went right back to whining and pacing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 816

You deserved it 1 709

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments