Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells... - FML

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 810

You deserved it 10 198

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Same thing different taste

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 197

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 687

You deserved it 60 141

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Spicy

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 343

You deserved it 2 543

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 269

You deserved it 1 016

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 830

You deserved it 13 049

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 10 557

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 312

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 34 358

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By Laura - 17/09/2010 00:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 762

You deserved it 6 224

Next

Top comments

Diabeetus 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 7:51

Perfect reply for these situations. "It varies in size depending on how hot the girl is."

captcool024 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 8:45

haha.. stupid bitch.. hot dog down a hallway at this point.. dont worry bro she says it to everybody, because her boyfriend is a giant *****.

Comments

Pearson_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 8:52

You're a disgrace to the OPP lifestyle. Naw, I'm just kidding, but that sucks man.

PYLrulz 17

Wednesday 29 April 2009 13:51

My only hope for you is that you had it wrapped.

Dunne147 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 4:29

Hey, at least you got laid.

wax_soup 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 19:50

IDD agree # 15 and # 5

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:33

haaaa, tell her that her ****** is just too small to fit your dick.

Levicicus 6

Sunday 27 January 2019 9:33

That doesn’t make any sense.

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:33

haaaa, tell her that her ****** is just too small to fit your dick.

Clomp 0

Monday 25 May 2009 2:25

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! that sucks, though...

Gibbio260 0

Friday 5 June 2009 14:16

hey what u complaining about anyway you nailed this chick your doing better than half the other fellas on this site saying "im 30 and the only time i've seen a ****** is on a med school exam"

Tahiri 2

Saturday 20 June 2009 20:01

So? Did you think yours was the biggest on the planet? Get over it.

sportsy 7

Thursday 18 August 2011 22:01

No he didn't read the damn post right next time

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Thursday 29 August 2013 7:18

Well, the point was that she has (had?idk what happened after) a boyfriend. ...

andropenis 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 15:54

Get revenge, one up the guy, check out andropenis.com

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The Top

Today, I met one of my favorite webcomic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth, he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 7 808

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

The Top

Today, I'm so lonely that I created multiple fake accounts on different social media platforms, just so I can have people to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 574

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 39 459

You deserved it 8 347

Today, I found out that my professor dropped me from class because I missed a Zoom meeting. The only class I needed to graduate. Why did I miss the meeting? Because I was in labor for 32 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 162

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 539

You deserved it 15 010

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 342

You deserved it 7 302

Today, I'm studying in another city. My tutor hates me because of my looks and accent. I have no friends, computer or internet outside of uni. I live in a room I rent at an old couple's house. Due to a flimsy door, I hear everything they do or say, and vice versa. I can't move from the bed. If I do, their dog, who guards my door, starts barking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 199