Love: Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 149

You deserved it 4 797

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 2 563

By Nat3_2020 - 27/01/2015 14:02 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 3 742

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 952

By mhm - 06/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Woodbridge

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 529

You deserved it 37 449

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 5 155

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 765

You deserved it 6 705

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 861

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 420

You deserved it 4 881

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 565

JoshTheMaggot 8

Friday 11 February 2011 1:08

Don't you like onions?

SandraGee 7

Friday 11 February 2011 1:36

I guess she made a "pass" at you.

Comments

chippa 24

Friday 11 February 2011 1:23

She sounds awesome. Go for 'er, OP.

WiseGuy79 14

Friday 11 February 2011 1:25

Love the gas? lol

brian666 4

Friday 11 February 2011 1:34

WTF LOL

Neylin 7

Friday 11 February 2011 1:35

She sounds awesome (:

Troll1 0

Friday 11 February 2011 3:25

I see what you did there xD

ArentICute 0

Monday 18 July 2011 5:13

I don't.

SandraGee 7

Friday 11 February 2011 1:36

I guess she made a "pass" at you.

jmmille 0

Friday 11 February 2011 3:05

hahaha!

arealgamer 0

Friday 11 February 2011 5:20

ha good one

SandraGee 7

Friday 11 February 2011 5:30

arealgamer 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:14

ha like what u did there

SandraGee 7

Friday 11 February 2011 6:36

thanks :)

arealgamer 0

Friday 11 February 2011 20:09

ha ur very welcome:))

Troll1 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 2:58

NOT

guppy40000 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:43

maybe she thought you did it, and her looking at you just made you think she was checking you out. Some guys are really self obsessed.

GarryG 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:44

that's a lie, girls don't fart... ever :|

whitewoods 3

Friday 11 February 2011 1:49

I think the real FML here is that a fart is more interesting that you are.

washingtongirl 8

Friday 11 February 2011 2:11

LOL

amsftw 0

Friday 11 February 2011 2:16

hahaha! so true.

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 11 February 2011 1:52

The essence of it? Is she about to bottle it and sell it to Chanel as a new line perfume?

InBetweenDreams 0

Friday 11 February 2011 2:26

You never know. Apparently, Lady Gaga is making a perfume that smells like semen and blood. :/

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 11 February 2011 2:29

It'll probably be called "Walk of Shame".

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 11 February 2011 2:35

Hey! Who doesn't want to smell like period sex?

bswole 1

Friday 11 February 2011 6:14

44- great point

yazmi_09 3

Friday 11 February 2011 6:53

I laughed at this for like 5 min, then did something else, came back to it and laughed again, I love your comments!

MrBond007_fml 6

Friday 11 February 2011 10:04

ha, good catch, that was funny... ps this is as close as I can get to humping your leg right now ;)

MaryFairy 3

Friday 11 February 2011 1:59

Let's hope OP was chewing gum

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 54 997

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 92

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 3 146

You deserved it 254

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I agree, your life sucks 32 778

You deserved it 8 110

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 342

You deserved it 3 784

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me, "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 565

You deserved it 1 018

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 739

You deserved it 9 064

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Same thing different taste

Powerful

Queasy

Dinnertime

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