Intimacy: Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that...

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 19:18 - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 37 966

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 363

You deserved it 11 903

Caught in 4K

By Evil_Egbert - 12/02/2009 11:54 - Netherlands

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 54 332

By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 17:01 - United States - South Gate

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 37 466

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 522

By morethanredhands - 21/05/2012 05:56

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 7 819

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 013

You deserved it 59 008

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 75 720

By crier - 27/08/2013 18:34 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 612

You deserved it 12 461

Wanker!

By EmbarrassedBather - 09/06/2019 00:00

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 383

By Playaaa - 14/11/2015 22:08 - United States - Hollister

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 414

You deserved it 28 717

bnutts 4

Saturday 25 February 2012 1:45

Well. Use your other arm, problem solved.

kcTheGreat 2

Saturday 25 February 2012 1:45

Wow..if you can actually see a difference it's time to get a girlfriend or at least a hobby..

Comments

quanzeman 5

Monday 27 February 2012 6:29

pics or it never happened

sdeniro 6

Monday 27 February 2012 16:03

I just busted out laughing at work and people looked at me!!

Heinousness 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:07

Your choices: Use other arm Get a GF Stop immediatley

ressa_1428 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:13

Well...use the other. Even them out. Or you know, you could always get a girlfriend. Cause that's a bit ridiculous.

gardenwhipped3 14

Thursday 1 March 2012 9:10

Take viagra. That way you will be forced to switch hands!

yeeaahh55 7

Friday 2 March 2012 7:35

i know how you feel because a friend of mine told me one arm is bigger than the other

rosiiee 0

Saturday 3 March 2012 5:27

Say you play tennis. :)

roxyelizabeth 3

Monday 5 March 2012 18:45

Guess you'll have to try with the other arm to even things out. Haha.

gitaly101 3

Friday 30 March 2012 2:12

Wait! I have a GREAT idea! GET A MUTHA ******* HOBBY!

InorganicReece 6

Saturday 2 February 2013 4:02

Switch arms!!

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Relatable Work Mental health Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Sleep Dogs Animals Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 91

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 156

You deserved it 3 131

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 739

You deserved it 4 186

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a hot British guy. He spent 90% of the date talking about his ex, but I invited him back to my place anyway. He came after 20 minutes of foreplay then left without even offering to get me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 8 049

Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 132

Today, my country announced that there will be 10 hours of power cuts starting from tomorrow. This basically means that if I want to begin my day at 8:00 am, it will only really get started at 6:00 pm, once the sun is down and the birds are done chirping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 97

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 193

Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

Wanker!

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