Love: Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see...

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By toastedguy - 01/12/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 664

You deserved it 13 164

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Same thing different taste

Weird movie choice

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 00:01

Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 383

By harrysolo - 19/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 65 217

Protection

By Anonymous - 03/07/2020 08:01

Today, I went on my first date in a year or so. It was going great, but after we left the restaurant, we went back to her place, where I was quickly chased out of the house by her two daughters, and her grandfather with a shotgun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 288

By Alec - 10/12/2012 07:01 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 797

You deserved it 1 920

By fredfredburger - 25/06/2014 17:45 - United States - Imperial

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 420

You deserved it 13 815

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 8 140

Date night

By avaiia - 09/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 786

You deserved it 1 611

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 9 615

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 25 660

Rellich 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 12:33

I want to say, "YDI," but no one deserves a psycho bitch like that...

smiller0789 3

Tuesday 1 December 2009 12:31

******...up

Comments

missMya 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 17:20

I agree, Twilight sucks.

mylifecanbeshit 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 17:52

What a load of bull shit, asif that happened.. if it did why the hell did you stay with her? any normal decent man would leave !

THISISWHATIWNADO 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 20:46

You should of known better twilight bitches are ******* crazy. they live in a dream world all day long.

Tunstall1 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 21:37

I'm clicking YDI 'cause New Moons fisken' awesoem!

movies12 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:10

Am I the only one that thinks Robert Pattinson AKA Edward Cullen, is hot? ya Taylor Lautner is hot, but he's soo young. I don't know... I like Edward! :-D

LlamaAlana 6

Thursday 3 December 2009 1:06

Wow, that really sucks, as did the movie. I agree. FYL haha.

Runchrisrun 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 2:20

I'm sorry dude. FYL Twighlight girls are freaks. Avoid them.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 18 November 2011 1:33

I take offense to that. I'm a big fan of Twilight but I'm not a freak. For instance, I've read the books twice in total and I refuse to see any of the movies on opening day or even opening week because I know the place will be packed with the kind of fans that give all of us a bad name (meaning the immature teenie boppers). I'm also not a 50-year-old woman who has Twilight-themed tattoos all over the back of her body (and yes, there is a woman that's done that, and she also gives us "normal" fans a bad name). I'm tired of all the Twilight hate and Harry Potter worship. Twilight is a far superior series because it's actually original. HP is so predictable - boy from crappy home finds out he's special in some way, leaves home for some grand place, makes both friends and enemies, etc. Twilight is unique, and yes I'm talking about the sparkles, but also because the werewolves are HUGE when they transform and you don't have to use the sun, a stake, garlic, etc. to kill a vampire. Sheesh.

sarah2144 14

Thursday 3 December 2009 3:21

I really hate how Twitards give all teenage girls a bad name. I have, admittedly, read the books. But I hated them. Today, I took my copy of Breaking Dawn, wrote "And then Buffy staked Edward" on the last page, above where it says "The End", and sold the entire series to Half-Price Books. :D So yeah. Some teenage girls are actually sane. Not all of them will light your beard on fire, OP. She had that coming when she took your hat anyway.

inlovex0x0 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 3:43

you people need to get over the Twilight series .. if you dont like it then so be it .. gosh .. dont catch a titty attack ... and i wudaa hurt the b*tch.