Love: Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see...

By toastedguy - 01/12/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 13 157

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Same thing different taste

Weird movie choice

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 00:01

Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 378

By harrysolo - 19/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 570

You deserved it 65 210

Protection

By Anonymous - 03/07/2020 08:01

Today, I went on my first date in a year or so. It was going great, but after we left the restaurant, we went back to her place, where I was quickly chased out of the house by her two daughters, and her grandfather with a shotgun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 286

By Alec - 10/12/2012 07:01 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 1 920

By fredfredburger - 25/06/2014 17:45 - United States - Imperial

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 411

You deserved it 13 812

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 172

You deserved it 8 128

By avaiia - 09/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 757

You deserved it 1 603

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 9 612

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 25 647

Rellich 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 12:33

I want to say, "YDI," but no one deserves a psycho bitch like that...

smiller0789 3

Tuesday 1 December 2009 12:31

******...up

Comments

f_me247 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 22:56

SOUNDS FAKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emperor_Jim 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 23:03

You're old enough to have a beard, and yet, you're going on a date with a girl so young that she wants to see "New Moon". The only logical conclusion is that you're a pedophile. I'm calling the cops.

ithatguy 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 2:14

originally we were going to see "old dogs" but we didn't get there till after it started (her fault) and so new moon was the next available movie.

lifeinhd 3

Tuesday 1 December 2009 23:10

You got BURNED... Crap, that sounded better in my head.

citrusjuice 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 23:11

Are you stupid? You can blow out a lighter then you wouldn't be without a beard now would you?

N0vemberaccou_19 4

Tuesday 1 December 2009 23:16

I'm sorry your first date in a while went badly. However, did she mean to burn you? From the stealing the hat, stealing the phone, it sounds like you guys were messing around, kind of having fun, and she thought it would be funny to pretend to threaten you, and ended up taking it WAY too far. Although pulling out the lighter in the first place would probably have been taking messing around way too far even if she hadn't actually burned you. If she hurt you on purpose, then wow, shes a bitch. Anyways, again, sorry your date sucked.

quirinus 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 0:53

YDI for having a beard

MochiHoshi 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 1:10

Totally deserved. A girl who likes New Moon is bound to be ******* psycho. XD

PaulWeller 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 1:26

Yesterday, I went to see New Moon with a girl I really like. She had me pay for it, then hated it and left. Then went to go **** some dude and called me the morning after to tell me all about it. I think she thinks I'm gay. FML.